1. Encourage a healthy lifestyle, especially leading up to exam time

Encourage your teen to eat well and take care of themselves leading up to, and during exam periods. This includes getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, and staying physically active. Regular exercise can help reduce stress and improve mood, so encourage your teen to take short breaks for physical activity, go for a walk or bike ride with friends (this will help them get exercise, plus time with friends can benefit their overall wellbeing and have some fun, they are still kids after all!) 

2. Teach time management skills to your teens for staying on track during exam time

Help your teen create a study schedule that allows for breaks and leisure time. Teach them how to prioritize tasks and set realistic goals. Effective time management can help reduce stress and prevent last-minute cramming. Plus, this is a lifelong skill they will always benefit from!

3. Provide emotional support to your kids during exam times

 Be there for your teen as a source of emotional support. Encourage open communication and let them know that it’s okay to feel stressed. Offer a listening ear and provide reassurance that you believe in their abilities.

Staying positive and remind them that as long as they work hard and try their best, then you’ll be happy with them. Remember, not all kids’ brains work the same way, exams aren’t always an indicator of success, a poor exam result doesn’t mean they won’t succeed at life!

4. If your teen gets anxious, teach some relaxation techniques

Introduce your teen to relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga. These practices can help alleviate anxiety and promote a sense of calm. Encourage your teen to take short breaks to practice these techniques during study sessions. Encourage them to stretch their body too! 

5. Help them develop effective study habits

Guide your teen in developing effective study habits. Encourage them to break down their study material into manageable chunks and to review regularly. Offer to quiz them or help them create flashcards to reinforce their learning, some kids may not want your help, and that’s fine too.

6. Encourage positive thinking, especially during exam stress

Emphasize the importance of maintaining a positive mindset. Help your teen reframe negative thoughts and focus on their strengths and previous successes. Remind them that their worth is not solely determined by their exam performance.

7. Provide a supportive environment for your kids to study

Create a supportive environment at home during exam periods. Minimize distractions and provide a quiet, well-lit space for studying.

Offer to help with household chores to free up more of your teen’s time for studying.

8. Seek External Support if Needed

If your teen’s exam stress becomes overwhelming, if you sense mental health issues or extreme behavior please consider seeking external support. This could involve reaching out to a school counselor, therapist, or mental health professional for additional guidance and support.

9. Encourage Balanced Expectations

Encourage your teen to do their best, but also emphasize the importance of balance. Help them understand that exam scores are just one aspect of their overall development and that their well-being is always paramount.

10. Celebrate their effort over their results

Regardless of the exam outcomes, celebrate your teen’s efforts and hard work. Acknowledge their dedication and perseverance and remind them that you are proud of them no matter what.

By implementing these tips, you can help your teen navigate exam stress more effectively and support them in developing healthy coping strategies for the future. Remember, your encouragement and support can make a significant difference in how your teen manages exam stress. Teaching them as tweens and teens on how to manage stressful events will serve them well in the future. And most of all, remember they’re just kids navigating a very difficult world.  

The post 10 Tips for Helping Your Teen Manage Exams appeared first on The Mabelhood.

School Bus Rules for Parents to Be Aware of:    

There can sometimes be confusion about the bus procedure and where the responsibility lies. Here are some general rules that most school districts and bus companies follow that are good for parents to be aware of.

-It’s the responsibility of the parents to understand the safety procedures and talk about them with their child.
-Parents are responsible for their children until they board the bus and again immediately as they step off the bus.
-Their child using the bus is a privilege, and any disrespect, damage, or behavior issues can result in your child’s withdrawal from using the bus service.
-Your child must be at the bus stop prior to the arrival of the bus. The bus will not wait for students.
-It is the benefit of the parents to maintain a good, respectful relationship with the bus driver.

There are very few incidents of school bus accidents. However, it is important to know that most incidents that do occur happen when children are getting on and off the bus. So kids and their parents should be very vigilant and careful during these times.

Organization tips for parents:

Understanding the logistics of using the bus is the responsibility of parents. They need to be aware of the bus numbers, the bus location, the route, etc. You can discuss this with your school principal and get all the information you need. Always be aware of the bus schedule; rushing will only increase the risk of an accident.

-Make sure your child is aware of their bus number or name.
-Pack carefully for your child; giving them too many bags or accessories can increase the risk of an incident when they’re getting on or off the bus.

-Label your child’s things! This way, if they leave something on the bus (which happens often!), the driver can very easily make sure it gets back to the right child. Here are the best labeling options!

School Bus Safety Tips to Talk About with Your Child:

Here is a list of the general safety tips your child needs to know about when waiting for the bus, getting on/off the bus, and riding the bus.  It’s important to talk to them about bus safety. the school principal should also cover the school bus safety tips with the kids, but it’s always good to ensure they hear it multiple times and understand the importance of it.

-Always be aware that if you can’t see the driver, the driver can’t see you.
-Always leave a few meters (or 6 BIG steps) between yourself and the bus; even if you drop something near or under the bus, always ask the driver before approaching.
-Never run to the bus
-Always wait away from the edge of the road (the 6 BIG steps)
-Wait for the bus to be stopped completely before approaching
-Always remain seated, facing forward
-No hands or arms outside the windows

Behavior on the School Bus:  

This is another topic to discuss with your kids. With very little supervision, a relaxed atmosphere can sometimes lead to misbehavior and negative social interactions between kids.  It’s important that parents talk to their kids about how to conduct themselves on the bus, the importance of not distracting the driver, and creating a safe and positive ride for everyone.

-Practice dealing with various negative interactions, give them some tools to cope with these possible interactions,

-Role play: how to ask to sit in a seat if everywhere is full, things such as “Can you please make some space for me?” and teach them to move alone if they hear “no”. Teach them not to take it personally, to just move along to another friend. Tell them that perhaps that student is having a hard time or may be experiencing some anxiety, too.

-Encourage your child to keep negative interactions as brief as possible, just move along, then discuss the concerns with parents or teachers later.

-Be prepared that your child may hear language that isn’t suitable for their age group. Make sure to discuss what’s appropriate to say, and what’s not.

School Bus Anxiety for Kids: 

There is no doubt that a large number of kids will feel anxious about riding the bus. From the logistics to the new social interactions, it’s very understandably an anxious situation. In fact, many adults would probably also experience some anxiety if they had to do the same thing!

Always validate your child’s feeling of anxiety, and let them know that the fear they have is normal and that other kids are probably feeling the same way.

Give your child some tools that may help calm them down. Perhaps that’s their favorite fidget toy to use on the bus. Or some simple deep breathing exercises.

Ask the school if your child knows any other kids on the bus, perhaps another child in their class or a friend. Then buddy up! The busy system will ease anxiety knowing that they don’t have to do it alone, and they’ll have a friend to sit with on the ride.

What to do if your child is experiencing bullying or threats on the bus:

It can happen, but for the most part, kids are good and well-behaved on the bus. It can be very frightening when it does happen though, and it’s important to listen to your child, and take their concerns seriously.

-Make sure to speak with the teacher, principal, driver, and bus company and ensure that the appropriate actions are taken to ensure the safety of your child.
-Make sure your child sits next to the driver or gets another form of transportation until the issue has been resolved.
-Ask for help from a responsible older child on the bus who can act as a buddy.

It may seem daunting for kids and parents at the beginning of the year, but after some time, it will become a regular part of the routine. Sending all kids and parents happy and safe bus journeys!

For more back-to-school information, check out the Mabelhood Back to School Hub!

The post School Bus Safety Tips for Kids & Parents appeared first on The Mabelhood.

We know action needs to be taken immediately, whether you need to treat lice, or are aware it’s spreading throughout the class and you need to prevent it – the time for action is immediate.

The good news about lice:

While the thought of lice is unsettling, it’s good to remember that lice aren’t a major health risk, nor do they carry any disease like other bugs and creepy crawlies. They prefer clean hair, so having lice doesn’t mean you’re dirty or unhygienic.

Types and stages of head lice:

The entire life cycle of lice lasts about 30 days. However, they lay eggs during that time, so unless they’re treated, this cycle will happen over and over.

1) Egg: This looks like a little white dot in the hair. It sticks to the strand of hair and needs to be pulled out (a good way to decipher between a small fluff or piece of dandruff that you can shake away or blow off)

2) Nymph: They’re greyish-white in color, and at this stage, they begin moving.

3) Adult Lice: At this stage, they’re tan in color and can easily be seen moving quickly throughout the hair and across the scalp.

Tips to treat head lice:

There are a number of ways you can treat head lice. It is treatable at home, but you’ll need a few things:

Headlice Comb – This is used for combing through the hair and pulling out the eggs.

Headlice kit – read what is included as the kit will likely already include the comb.

Conditioner – You may want to put some condition in the hair to make combing through it easier. The smoother the hair is, the easier it is to see the eggs and slide them out with the comb.

Step 1: OTC Shampoo Treatment:

This will kill the adult lice. Follow the directions on the kit, it will usually involve a few steps (you may want to grab the iPad or put on a movie, this may take a while!)

Wash and towel-dry the hair, then apply the treatment, don’t forget to scrub the nape of your child’s neck, behind their ears! You may need to let it sit for a few minutes (make sure you’re following instructions).

Step 2: Remove the lice with the comb.

Remove the lice by parting the hair into small sections and combing through to pull out any eggs or nits. Start as close to the scalp as possible. Any live that you pull out should be put into a wet paper towel and then sealed into a plastic bag.

Step 3:

Repeat steps 1 & 2. The shampoo treatment won’t kill eggs; it will only kill adult lice, so you should repeat this step a few days to a week later to ensure that if you miss an egg in step one, you’ll have a chance to kill the adult.

Remember to follow all the preventative tips below. The last thing you want is to have your child reinfested a week or so later!

Professional help:

If you tried the above OTC treatments and had no luck, and you’re sure your child didn’t get reinfested, you may want to make an appointment at a salon that treats lice. You’ll have to Google one in your area or ask around in your local moms’ groups.

Wash, wash, wash:

Make sure to wash bedding, pillows, blankets, stuffies, clothing etc. While lice can only crawl, not jump. A stray hair with a louse on it could be enough to crawl onto your head and reinfest or infest someone else in the home.

How to prevent head lice:

Oftentimes, our kids will come home with a note that says there is a case or cases of lice in the classroom. Don’t panic! It can be prevented!  Here are some tips to prevent head lice:

Get a tea tree oil spray, lice don’t like the smell of it. Give you kids hair a spritz before heading off to school.

Make sure all hair is tied back! French braids are best to keep stray hair from touching others.

Feel free to skip a few washes, the lice can’t grip easily onto unwashed, oily hair. So it may be a good time to ease up on the shampoo until the situation in the classroom changes.

Label your kids’ stuff – especially hats!! Making sure that hats stay on the correct head is crucial to keeping lice at bay! Although lice can’t jump and need hair to live, one stray hair inside a hat can be all it takes to have a lice crawl into your kid’s hair!

Talk to your kids about not sharing clips, combs, clothing or hats. Make sure they give one another space. Especially when huddling over a book or laptop, try and remind them to give their heads some space.

The post Tips to Prevent and Treat Lice appeared first on The Mabelhood.

For Homework tips to make the process more efficient and less painful, try using the three S’s: schedule, space, and support.

Schedule – How to create a homework schedule 

It’s helpful to establish good habits and a regular homework routine right from the start. You know your child best, so customize the timing by asking the following questions:

• Are they best suited to tackle their work right after school, before they get caught up in their free time activities? For example, once they get rolling on something fun, will it be a huge battle to transition them back into a school mindset?
• Would they benefit from a bit of time to decompress and regroup first? Maybe they need to refuel with a healthy snack or chat for a few minutes to resolve any worries from the school day.
• Since dinner is a regular part of the evening, could the homework routine be structured around that? Could schoolwork be completed while dinner is being prepared or immediately after eating?
• How can you effectively allocate homework time around extra-curricular commitments, such as music lessons, activities or sports?

Whatever time slot you choose, focus on quality, not quantity. Encourage your child to mentally lock into the “homework zone” and give a solid effort for an age-appropriate amount of time. Fifteen focused minutes are far better than an hour of moping and complaining. Identify your child’s learning style and try the corresponding strategies to keep them engaged.

As with any task, leaving it to the last minute is guaranteed to cause unwanted panic and stress. Conduct a daily “backpack check” where you and your child unpack everything (water bottle, lunch container, library books, permission forms, planner/agenda, homework pages, etc.) and identify any time-sensitive items. Be diligent about repeating tasks, like a weekly reading log submitted on Fridays.

Space – Creating a designated homework space

If possible, designate a workspace or “homework station” for your child (Today’s Parent has some tips to get you started).

Pre-stock the work area with all the necessary supplies: paper, pencils, highlighters, headphones, a calculator, and so on. This bypasses the need to get up and root around to find “the perfect pencil” (or whatever other delay tactic they can invent).

Location is an essential factor, as you want to limit distractions, interruptions and background noise as much as possible. Older students may be able to work independently in a separate room, while younger kids may need more support and monitoring.

Speaking of monitors, today’s homework may reside on a computer rather than an old-fashioned piece of paper. The problem is kids mainly associate electronic devices with recreational functions like games, cartoons, video clips and internet surfing. It is extremely tempting for them to click out of their fill-in-the-blanks social studies slides and open something far more entertaining.

Here are a few strategies to teach screen time management:

• Set a timer to designate a certain number of minutes as “school screen time” only. If the work is completed correctly in the allotted time frame, another timer will be set with a reward of “recreational screen time.”
• Consider having designated locations for the two different purposes — for example, sitting at the kitchen table with the laptop to complete their science questions, then moving to the couch to watch an episode of their favourite show.
• If you’re concerned that your child is spending time on other websites during homework time, privately check the device’s browser history.
• Set up your child’s device in a common area of the house, with your child’s back turned and the screen facing toward you, so you have a clear sightline as you walk by or perform other tasks.

Support – Provide support with homework when needed

Many free online resources help kids (and parents!) navigate subject-specific homework. We’ve got a helpful round-up of them to save you some time. As your child learns how to use a search engine, guide them towards reputable sources, such as well-known news publications, magazines, encyclopedias, or universities.

The best source of information, however, is your child’s teacher. At the start of the year, add his or her contact information to your phone. Reach out if you have questions about homework expectations, especially if your child has specific needs or accommodations.

Many teachers now use a virtual learning platform or online classroom to post homework and updates. Here are some tips to avoid technical glitches:

• Bookmark the site and write your child’s login and password information on a sticky note displayed in a prominent spot. That way, even babysitters or caregivers can get access if needed.
• For major assignments, don’t take your child’s word for it — visit the site yourself and view the teacher’s instructions. From there, you’ll be better equipped to help your child break the project down into phases (research, note-taking, rough copy, good copy, etc.).
• Take note of important due dates or upcoming tests and add them to the family calendar.
• If your household experiences a technology problem — for example, an internet outage or an unexpectedly empty printer ink cartridge — send an apologetic note with your child the next day or contact the teacher directly.

Overall, try to stay positive and patient yourself. Homework can be frustrating and annoying to kids, so parents need to provide calm encouragement. Avoid speaking negatively about the teacher or the assignment. If you and your child feel overwhelmed, take a short break and return to it with your full attention, rather than trying to multi-task.

Homework doesn’t have to be a dirty word. Set realistic expectations and keep an open mind — especially when presented with an unfamiliar new way of solving or “modeling” a math equation. In those situations, you and your child are both learning something!

For more School Tips check out our back-to-school hub! 

The post Homework Tips for a Smooth School Year appeared first on The Mabelhood.

This is normal. It’s manageable, and it’s very, very common. After School restraint Collapse, a term coined only a few years ago. It suddenly resonated with families in a big way.  


What is After School Restraint Collapse?


Let’s take a step back, these days, school is different, and many children, especially our younger ones, have a challenging time managing a school day when all they want to do is play. This is amplified in children with special needs. 

With large classroom sizes, many kids are confined to a desk all day. It is very unnatural; kids are meant to move their bodies, explore and learn through play. Yet, as much as we hear how well they’re coping in the classroom, the media often talks about how resilient our kids are for working through these challenging times; we often don’t hear about what happens after class.

You pick your child up from school, and the teacher mentions what a great day they had! Yet, the moment they get in the car or step through the door, they’re miserable or unable to hold it together. You start to wonder why they have a split personality. This is After School Restraint Collapse.

Why do after school meltdowns happen?   

You kid has spent all day sitting at a desk, possibly wearing a mask, minding their manners, managing complex relationships, listening carefully. They have been working and thinking hard and primarily restraining their natural kid impulses to yell, jump, spin in circles, and all the other lovely and weird things kids do. It is mentally, physically, and emotionally difficult for kids- even on the best of days. 

 Holding in tough emotions is hard for anyone, especially kids. By the time they get home, they just simply can’t hold it together anymore. They arrive home into their safe space, where love is unconditional. And they let it all go. The entire days’ worth of stress, emotions, and holding it together comes bursting out. It looks like anger, tears, defiance, and possibly a full-blown meltdown of kicking and screaming. It can happen right into adolescence, although it may appear less of a breakdown and more of quiet, mumbling, and grumpy.  

 The mental load of kids at school during a pandemic is hard.  

 The upside, if you’re experiencing ASRC, is that you’ve created a beautiful relationship with your child where they feel comfortable and safe enough where they know you’ll be their soft landing for them. 

Tips on how best to deal with after school restraint collapse

There may be no way to avoid it entirely, but you may find that as they get more comfortable with the daily school routine, the people in their class, and the work they must do, these breakdowns may start to decrease. We can never take all the stress away from our kids, but we can find ways to make our home an environment that works for them.   

 1) Don’t label the collapse 

It’s just a part of being a kid, validate the feelings they’re having. It’s okay for them to be tired, angry, grumpy, and any other emotion they’re experiencing. Totally normal. Don’t label it or judge. Just let them experience it and help them work through it. 

2) Be prepared with food. 

They are likely hungry after school, and it’s best to be prepared for this right away. They’ve made many decisions during the day and are probably experiencing some decision fatigue, so asking “what do you want to eat” could be a tipping point. Just have a healthy snack they enjoy ready to go. 

 4) Do not grill them about their day 

Nobody wants to be bombarded with questions to the moment they’re trying to relax. Give them some space, welcome them home with a hug and a smile and allow them to settle, but don’t ask a million questions. They won’t want to answer, and you’re asking may provoke them. Give them some time, and at dinner or later in the evening, ask if they want to talk about their day. Give them a choice about whether they’re like to share or not.  

 Once they’re ready to talk, if you have a teen who will just answer a mumbled yes or not, try and keep the questions open-ended where they can’t give a quick yes/no or fine, 

•  “who did you hang out with today?”  
•  “What did you do at recess?” 
•  …or something that shows you listened, “Did Max fall asleep again in class?” 

 And make sure to do active listening, repeat back what you’ve heard naturally, “he did fall asleep! haha” or “Wow, you and Pete really like tag at recess, that’s great.”   

 5) Follow their lead 

Some kids may need to be physical, so play wrestling with siblings or going on a bike ride might be precisely what they need to decompress. Others may need rest. So, a bit of TV time, some quiet table toys, or listening to music will help them unwind. A weighted blanket may help some kids feel more relaxed. Take their lead on what may work for them.   

 6) Flip it. 

Let them be upside down, literally. Yoga is a great wind-down activity for any anxious or stressed kid, especially the downward dog pose, because often, being upside down can make you feel better. In addition, being upside-down helps circulate blood throughout the body and trigger the vestibular system. So if your kid likes to hang upside down off the couch- let them! Kids have an uncanny way of naturally knowing what’s best for their bodies and self-regulating.   

The best thing you can do is maintain a calm and understanding attitude, especially during these first few weeks and months back in school. If parents can be prepared, offer stability and empathy, we’ll get through this. Cut the kids some slack if some unwanted behaviors arise. They have, after all, had a challenging, unstable few years, and we must allow them time to adjust.

Above all else, cut yourself some slack too. Remember that restraint collapse is a sign that you’ve created a loving and safe environment, so pat yourself on the back for that  

[If your child is experiencing unmanageable behaviors for a prolonged period, it would be worth contacting your healthcare provider for further assistance] 

For tips on how to get your kiddo’s to talk about their day- click here!

The post After School Restraint Collapse; Tips on How Your Family Can Survive These Difficult School Days appeared first on The Mabelhood.

You just want ONE nice photo of them holding the sign, giving their biggest grin and modeling that cute new outfit. It should be that simple, but this task can be the most stressful part of your morning.

It’s a challenge for many reasons – namely, it’s a new morning routine, everyone has the end-of-summer blues and there are a lot of emotions packed into that one day. Luckily, our Mabel’s Labels staff photographer has some tried-and-true tips to make that first-day photo a positive experience.

Choose the right location.

The first thing you want to think about is where to take the photo. Avoid direct sunlight and find a nice, shady spot with even lighting. If shade is limited, you want to have the sun behind your child as opposed to in front. No one enjoys looking into bright lights and being told to keep their eyes open! If a photo outside isn’t possible, head to the room with the most windows, open up all the blinds and place your child in front of the window angled slightly towards the window looking out. A great way to find good lighting is sticking your hand straight out in front of you, palm facing towards you and study how the light falls on your hand.

Have your camera ready.

The next step is to make sure your picture taking device is all set to go. You don’t want to spend those precious minutes fiddling with your camera batteries or phone settings. This should all be figured out in advance. If possible, take a few test shots before your child is in position. Remember to set the exposure to your child, which is done on most smartphones by simply touching the subject’s face on the screen. This is especially important for outside images where your phone will try to set the exposure to the bright light outside, hiding your child in the shadows. Simply tap the screen where you want the camera to focus, and everything should fall into place. If it’s not working, get a little closer to your child or try a new spot.

Use a little bribery.

During these amateur photo shoots, parents often find themselves repeating unhelpful phrases like “Smile nicely!” or “Let’s see a nice smile!” or “Can you please give me just one nice smile!?” As you might imagine (or perhaps know from experience), this rarely works.

Maybe a small bribe is in order – after all, it is a special occasion. Have your child’s favourite little treat or a small gift standing by – maybe it’s a cool pencil case, a new set of markers, or a decorative accessory for their backpack. Explain that they will receive their mini prize once a “keeper” photo has been captured. This provides added motivation for them and speeds up the process.

Make them laugh.

The window of cooperation for a photo like this is typically no more than two minutes, so you’ll want to work fast. Place your child in that perfect spot you picked out ahead of time. Get that “First Day of Grade ___” sign ready (these are great because it keeps their hands busy) and start snapping.

Instead of having kids say “cheese,” try asking them to say other words that still end with an “ee” sound. Suggest that they say something like “monkey”, “money”, or “I love my mommy!” Some quieter kids don’t necessarily love shouting out a word, so you may need to add some comedy to get a smirk or smile. Sing a silly song or make a goofy face and challenge them not to laugh. The more you let go and have fun with it, the better the response will be.

You can also try a trade-off technique called “pose for pose.” They get to pose however they want for one photo, then afterwards they do the pose you’re asking for. (You can also reverse the sequence and do a “nice” pose followed by a “silly” one as a reward.) This gives them an opportunity to get their silliness out, be creative and express themselves.

If things get desperate, and they simply won’t crack a smile, try some good old-fashioned potty humor. Something about the phrase “Who tooted?” works like a charm with kids of all ages. (Yes, getting a memorable, frame-worthy photo may involve resorting to fart jokes.)

Be realistic and patient.

Rather than feeling the pressure, approach the situation with love and realistic expectations. You know your child best, so if it’s not meant to be, stage the photo on a different day (who’s going to know?).

If the final product doesn’t turn out perfectly, that’s okay. So what if you can’t read the sign, or your child’s hair is a little out of place, or they have an amusing expression on their face? It’s meant to be a fun tradition and a special moment between the two of you before they head off to a new grade. Enjoy the experience and good luck!

The post How to Take The Perfect First Day of School Photo appeared first on The Mabelhood.

As the weeks go on, though, the novelty of returning to school may wear off. “Any time something is new, it brings about a natural enthusiasm, yet as time passes and work load or expectations increase, the norm quickly becomes less stimulating,” says Josie Murphy*, an elementary teacher with the Waterloo Region District School Board.

If you’ve noticed your kids dragging their feet in the morning or complaining about going to school, there is still time to intervene. While you can’t fully match the exuberant energy (or shopaholic mentality) of back-to-school, here are some ideas to help your child continue to view school in a positive way.

Talk about it.

Chatting with your child about his or her school day is an obvious first step. “Celebrate the things that went well, or discuss a topic that was covered in class,” Josie suggests. Many teachers have online blogs or classroom-specific social media accounts that provide updates and conversation starters.

Get involved.

“Joining a school club or team fosters a sense of pride in the school, enables students to meet others with similar interests and gives them something to look forward to,” Josie says. The notion of getting involved also applies to parents, so if you can, volunteer to help out at the next field trip or pizza day.

Dial back the screen time.

Josie endorses the use of computers and iPads for math, literacy skills and coding, but warns against a pattern of excessive exposure to non-educational screen-based games. “Based on my observations, it seems that students who play a lot of video games are harder to engage unless a task offers instant gratification or appeals directly to them,” she says. “In contrast, students who spend time outdoors, play sports or do extra-curricular activities tend to show greater stamina for tasks, have more positive relationships with others and are generally more engaged in learning activities.” If your child seems to be in a rut, maybe a break from his or her device is in order.

Bump up bedtime.

A cranky, under-motivated kid is likely a tired one. Ironically, screen time and extra-curricular activities can both be culprits here. Whether a child is staying up later to watch YouTube videos or getting home after dark due to a team practice, the resulting next-day fatigue is the same. Adopt the “it’s a school night” approach whenever possible and see if an earlier bedtime helps them bounce back.

Re-commit to reading.

If your child’s class has a Home Reading program, go all-in. The reading practice is beneficial, and the time spent cuddling and chatting together is a major bonus. It can be energizing to discover a great author or an entertaining book series. If you’re not sure where to start, ask the school’s teacher-librarian or visit your local library for age-appropriate recommendations. If you’re new to the graphic novel scene, be sure to check out Jen Millard’s top picks.

Visit during non-school hours.

Sure, school is a place to learn, but a lot of fun things happen there too. If your school hosts an open house, movie night or other special event, make an effort to attend as a family. Linger at the playground after school or walk back in the evening to give your kids the chance to fully explore the outdoor play spaces.

Book a play date.

“Interacting with peers outside of school develops meaningful friendships,” Josie says. The notion of getting to school to see a favourite friend can provide much-needed motivation on a sluggish morning. In the schoolyard, keep your eyes peeled for the parent of the student your child frequently mentions as a desk partner or recess pal. Introduce yourself and propose getting the kids together sometime.

Spice up their lunch.

This doesn’t have to mean adding a sugary treat (Halloween is coming soon enough). Maybe the cool lunch bag or water bottle your child admired during back-to-school shopping is now affordably priced on clearance. Or, splurge on some summery fruit like watermelon or berries to add a splash of nutritious colour. Try making a new muffin recipe together, to provide variety. If all else fails, write them a classic “Love, Mom” lunch note (with a smiley-face).

Consult the teacher.

Some minor moaning and groaning about school is one thing, but if you notice significant changes in your child’s behaviour or attitude, set up a meeting with the teacher. “If a student is feeling anxious or reluctant about coming to school, I want to know about it,” Josie says. The teacher may have further insights or suggestions about how to build some positive momentum. If your child is struggling with homework, consult some free online resources for added support.

Make them smile.

Sometimes, the smallest thing can turn a child’s mood around. One morning, my youngest was particularly grumpy about going to school, but we didn’t have time for a sit-down talk because I was in the middle of packing his lunch. Out of desperation, I grabbed a Sharpie marker and started drawing a funny face on the outer peel of his banana. He started giggling, and soon his older brother wanted some banana artwork, too. It changed the entire tone of our morning.

Feel free to ride out the back-to-school honeymoon period for as long as it lasts, knowing that reality will set in eventually. And, just like after a real honeymoon, a little creativity can go a long way to keep things going strong!

*Name changed by request.

The post What To Do When the Back-to-School Honeymoon Ends appeared first on The Mabelhood.

 Firstly, parents should remember that disagreements are a part of life, and we don’t want to jump to conclusions over every peer conflict. It’s healthy and typical for kids to deal with peer conflict, and they must learn to manage the situations. Here are a few essential differences that parents should be aware of between bullying and peer conflict:  

•  Peer conflict is a MUTUAL disagreement between two kids
•  It typically resolves itself quickly 
•  This conflict doesn’t include a power struggle 
•  Kids will mention this type of conflict to parents
•  There are no threats or violence

So, what if this conflict has gone too far? Or is it a one-sided power struggle? Or perhaps you suspect something is up, but your child is hesitant to talk about it. That’s your red flag. Of course, we want to do everything in our power to make our children happy and safe, but it’s hard to know where to begin. So, here are some signs your child may be being bullied and the following steps to take if it happens.  

 Emotional Signs your child may be bullied:

• Your child doesn’t want to go to school, faking illness, or having a tummy ache.
•  They withdraw from peers and family. 
•  You observe changes in their behavior, and they may become angry.
•  A drop in their grades at school, loss of interest.
•  Either lose their appetite or overeat. 
•  Becoming anxious or nervous. 
•  Lack of sleep or sudden nightmares. 
•  Harming themselves, or self-deprecation (saying they’re stupid, etc.) 

 Physical signs: 

•  Bruises, cuts   
• Sudden “lost” personal items (phone, ear buds etc.)
•  Damaged items (clothing, bag, etc.)  

Often our kids don’t want to tell parents about bullying. They feel it’s their fault or that it will become worse or make them a snitch. They have feelings of embarrassment and shame. Kids worry that parents will react with anger, be disappointed in them, or become reactive and escalate the problem.

You’ve seen the signs of bullying, but now what? 

 It’s hard as a parent to know what steps to take next. Again, the mama-bear comes out, and we want revenge; however, logically, we know this isn’t the right thing to do. During this time, your child is vulnerable, and you mustn’t lose their trust. So always approach the situation calmly and logically. It’s important to stay calm, don’t get angry. If they see you react in a big way, they’ll pull back and won’t work with you or communicate. 

 The two most important things to remember is to let them know it’s not their fault. Secondly, make it clear that you’re there to support them through this. Children often don’t want you involved; they worry it will worsen. So, it would be best if you made it clear that you’ll work together to ensure the situation changes. 

 Here are some tips on the next steps:  

•   Gently approach the subject or ask questions when they hint at it. 
•  Praise your child for speaking up.   
•  Open and positive communication during this time is key. Working together allows your child to trust you, making them feel comfortable opening up. 
•  Explain that it is not their fault and that you’re proud of them. 
•  Reassure them that you will work together to change the situation and find a solution. 
•  Work hard over the following weeks to build up their confidence. 
•  Find and encourage friendships that are positive for them.  
•  Tell the teacher, principal, counselor, or trustee.  
•  Offer counseling for your child.
•  Suggest the buddy system, a friend who will be supportive and your child can count on to walk home with, eat lunch with, etc.

  Remember that this is a time to start rebuilding your child’s confidence. It’s an opportunity to strengthen the relationship and the trust you have with your child. Most importantly, it’s crucial that you get the help both you and your child require to get yourselves through difficult times. For crisis help please reach out to these organizations for assistance

The post Signs Your Child Is Being Bullied, and What to Do Next appeared first on The Mabelhood.

 Any parent knows that there is no official parenting handbook. We’re all just winging it, googling it, and trial and error. For parents of kids with additional needs, this couldn’t be truer. From navigating complex medical issues, behavioral anomalies, etc., the paperwork and processes are tiresome and arduous before they’ve even started school. Then, just when you think you may have it all figured out, school starts, and a new process begins. The problem with these systems is that the industry leaders have years of knowledge; it’s what they do for a living. But it’s up to the parents to navigate this unfamiliar system with no prior training, no handbook, and often little to no support. It can feel like representing yourself at a trial you have no previous knowledge of. 

 Many expressed how concerning, anxiety-inducing, and fear-provoking the initial special education evaluation and IEP meetings can be with parents. For parents, each year, this meeting can feel like they’re starting fresh. Advocating for your child is exhausting and frustrating. The IEP is complicated, and collaborating with school staff and the parameters set for them is overwhelming. School staff feels they are walking on eggshells around the parents, and parents often feel unheard. But it doesn’t have to be so daunting. Here is a breakdown of an IEP, what it means, where to begin, and essential things to remember as you embark (again) on this process.   

We spoke with both parents, and an experienced LRT in the Ontario School system, Ms. McNulty, LRT (Learning resource teacher), for her expertise. 

 What is an IEP? (Individualized Education Plan)

 An IEP is a written legal working document that functions like a roadmap laying out the modified education plan with instruction, supports, and services your child will receive to progress and thrive during the school year. It includes measurable goals and operates on a timeline.

Being a legal working document means that it can be changed at any time and that the strategies and services included MUST be accommodated. The school’s principal is legally bound to ensure that all aspects of the IEP are being met and addressed.

 It operates as a ground rules tool for the child’s team. It means the team will uphold the responsibilities of the plan to ensure the help is provided to allow the student to meet their goals stated in the document, which will enable them to progress through the curriculum.   

 In short, a document that explains how your child will receive assistance at school that is catered specifically to them so they can complete the curriculum (or adjusting the curriculum goals to meet where they’re at)  

 Feel free to write on the IEP – write out your questions and concerns next to what bothers you. Then, bring this IEP to the meetings and share your concerns. Knowing your child’s IEP will allow you to make sure they are receiving what they should.

 Two types of IEP’s     

 While there are little to no differences in the documents themselves, there are two types of IEP’s. The purpose and practicality of the document are the same. The main difference is how the student arrived at requiring the IEP and the legality of it, more on that after we review the two types:

 1) Identification  

 Your child may receive an Identified IEP. This means they have been formally identified as requiring an individual plan. This formal identification usually comes in a diagnosis (deaf, learning disability, low vision, behavior, intellectual disability, etc.)  

 2) Non-Identified   

 The school identifies this type of IEP. It’s when the teacher/ team feels that there are areas where your child may benefit from a significant change to the program to thrive. 

 The difference between the two is, if your child is identified, they’re required by law to have access to an IEP, regardless of the school. However, a non-identified IEP remains within the school, so if the child changes schools, the IEP isn’t legally binding at the next school; it’s then up to the discretion of the new school to decide whether the child will receive an IEP.   

 What is an IEP meeting? 

 Any child who is receiving an IEP will have a meeting involving the entire team. Again, the IEP is a legal working document and should be produced by the school with the assistance and input of the child’s parents or guardians. Many parents get nervous about the IEP meeting, and it does have a stereotype of not being a good experience, being a frustrating and challenging process for parents. (But then, isn’t that true of any time we need to advocate for our kids) Below, we’ll include our tips for navigating the IEP meeting that won’t make your pits sweat. 

“We all want your child to be happy and successful at school. You know your child best. Your thoughts, views, and concerns are important too. The school team has to work within the parameters of the Board, but we will try our best to do what we can for you”.

 Glossary of terms you may hear in an IEP meeting. 

 Teachers have their own jargon and acronyms often forget that these aren’t common knowledge outside of the educator’s world. Here are a few to be aware of: 

 IPRC (Identification, Placement & Review Committee)

 An IPRC is a committee that meets and decides if a student should be identified as requiring additional support per the Ministry of Education guidelines. This review board holds a meeting with the parents to discuss, and from there, with IEP process begins. These meetings happen once a year for as long as your child is in school.

Accommodated (AC)  

 “Accommodated only (AC) is the term used on the IEP form to identify subjects or courses from the curriculum in which the student requires accommodations alone to work towards achieving the regular grade expectations” In Short, an accommodated IEP means that the curriculum expectations are not altered, and your child is working at grade level. The accommodations are listed in the ‘accommodation’ section of the IEP.   

 The IEP box on report cards should not be checked for this type of IEP.

 Modified (MOD)

 “Modified” Modifications are changes made in the age-appropriate grade-level expectations for a subject or course to meet a student’s learning needs. Ms. McNulty explains further “A modified IEP means your child will have learning expectations at a different grade level, or there will be an increase or decrease in the number and/or complexity of the expectations. For example, your child is in grade 3, but their Reading learning expectations are taken from the grade 1 curriculum.

 Alternate (ALT)

 Alternative expectations that fall outside of the curriculum documents. Other alternative “courses” could include social skills, fine or gross motor, behavior, learning skills, etc. Additional classes are not offered within the regular curriculum.

 Tips for your IEP meeting: 

1.  Have a positive attitude. 

   
    Attend this meeting with the full belief that the team will be helpful and genuinely collaborate with you. They may have budgets and resources to deal with, and that’s the enemy, not the team itself. It’s not you against them- but the team against the setback. Everyone is working towards the same result; to see your child succeed and thrive in school.
   
   

2. Don’t go alone.   

   
   Bring a friend or spouse along who can help be a second set of ears, who can ask the questions you may have forgotten or simply as moral support. Talk with them beforehand about your worries, questions, etc., so they can act as a backup if you get overwhelmed. 
   
   

3. Be prepared.

   
   Bring all paperwork you have regarding your child’s diagnosis and any evaluations or reports that may help set goals.  

“…This is very important and helps the team build and create an IEP that will truly benefit your child. In addition, they may want to make copies to keep in your child’s school records for future reference.” 

 “I would encourage parents to read their child’s IEP. Make sure they understand the goals and expectations and ask for clarification from teachers and the LRT if they are unsure. Then keep it close by and easily accessible. This way, parents can review the IEP often to make sure their child is receiving the support they are entitled to.

  4 . Find out who will attend. 

 Make sure all the key stakes holders will be there. And make yourself aware of who they are, what role they have, and how they can help you. (This can include speech therapist, behavior therapist, teachers, etc.) 

 “It is your right to know who will be there. If you believe someone is missing from the table, let the LRT/Principal know and state your reasons why. Sometimes due to scheduling, we can’t have everyone attend that we would like, but we do communicate with them and let them know what happened during the meeting”.

 5.  Set your goals ahead of time 

 Be clear about what you’d like to see for your child. What tools do you think they need to succeed and how you’d like to see them accommodated. Make sure all the goals you have and the eventually implemented goals are SMART goals – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound. 

“I like to ask parents what their expectations are for their child after school is finished. Do you see them working, living independently, living in a group home, attending life skills courses? Knowing what you expect and hope for as your child ages is a great place to start.”

 6. ASK Questions 

 You have every right to slow down the meeting, stop and ask questions and ask for a thorough yet simplistic explanation of what’s being discussed. If the meeting is moving too quickly, or you do not understand something- say, “I’m not quite following. Can we go back to XX, and can you explain that again” This is the time to advocate, remember it’s a team effort- and a big part of being on a team is making sure nobody is left behind. 

 7. Swallow your pride 

 Sometimes, as heartbreaking as it can be, we need to focus on the parts of our children that struggle. The areas where they fall behind. It can be challenging, but now isn’t the time to focus on their strengths, but rather a time to advocate for them, and that means looking at the areas where they need help. Don’t hide the truth; if you want to see them succeed, you need to be completely honest about all the bad and ugly aspects to put the proper supports in place.  

 Ms. McNulty also added the importance of knowing your child’s strengths.  

“This will allow you to truly see your child as a whole learner. All children have strengths and needs; we need to record your childs’ on the IEP. These specific strengths and needs must relate to the students’ learning. The strengths and needs section should be balanced. There shouldn’t be more needs than strengths. You should not see strengths that say – is a nice boy, waves to friends – these are not helpful for anyone. Be specific and dig deep. It’s never fun to think about what our children can’t do, but having this written out means teachers will know where your child needs support and allow the school to figure out how to best support them.

 So as all parents embark on another school year, we send strength to those parents with the added role of advocating and fighting for your child’s needs; you got this!

[While most IEP processes are the same, it may differ slightly between school district] 

For more Back to school content, check out our hub! 

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Because of this, I dreaded the schoolyard pick-up and drop-off scene. There are no buses to my kids’ school, so twice a day the blacktop is covered in adults milling around, waiting for the bell to ring. It’s like an awkward psychological experiment (or maybe an amateur flash mob) waiting to happen.

When my older son started kindergarten, I kept my head down and didn’t interact with anyone. The whole situation was foreign and unknown to me, so I stayed in my shell. The other worry-inducing factor was my younger son, who was along for the ride every day in his stroller. Like most toddlers, his moods and behaviour were volatile, and I desperately wanted to avoid a public meltdown – and the ensuing stares. I got in and out as swiftly as I could.

As my kids got older, though, I gained more confidence. My younger son started kindergarten and the routine felt familiar. At school events and field trips, I learned the names of my kids’ peers, and took note of which parents they ran to at the end of the day. I began to shyly say hi to moms and dads that I recognized.

Many years later, it surprises even me to admit that I’m no longer super-stressed about the schoolyard. I have chatted with a variety of parents and discovered that people are actually quite interesting. Who knew? (The extroverts, I guess.)

For example, one mom is from Argentina, and another is from Colombia. I met a mom who has no hair due to an autoimmune disease (and she was kind enough to let me interview her about it). One of the dads is a firefighter, and another is on the verge of completing his Ph.D. One mom rides a skateboard, and another has a job making – of all things – drones. We all share the same square of asphalt.

If you’re on the shy side too, here are my amateur tips for navigating the schoolyard:

Consider pandemic protocols.

In many regions, physical distancing is still highly recommended, so be courteous and provide plenty of personal space. Also, be sensitive to the fact that people may still feel nervous or jittery as they return to social situations (and who can blame us, after months of living like hermits?).

Ask about them – and their kids.

Most people are keen to talk about themselves, and even more excited if someone inquires about their kids. Ask how their child’s school year is going or what extra-curricular activities they’re involved in – anything to get a conversation started. If you’re a private person, you don’t have to share a lot – just listen.

Figure out who’s who.

Seek out the family members of the kids your son or daughter frequently mentions when discussing the events of the day. It’s helpful to make connections with your child’s friends, especially if you receive an invitation to a birthday party or playdate. Pay extra attention to determine if you’re meeting a parent, step-parent, grandparent or other caregiver.

Be yourself.

Another reason that I held back from parent interactions was that I often felt frumpy and unkempt. I used to tear myself down by imagining how a style-conscious parent might describe me to someone else: “No makeup, messy ponytail, same black yoga pants every single day.” As you might expect, this did nothing for my self-esteem. Eventually I got over it and realized that this isn’t a fashion contest, and even if it is, I’m not interested in entering.

Don’t judge.

Avoid shaking your head (outwardly or inwardly) at the parent who appears overly frazzled or is dashing for the door at the bell, because that could be you tomorrow. You don’t know every family’s backstory or the challenges they might be facing, so err on the side of being forgiving.

Parents in a schoolyard are all in the same boat. We all lead busy lives and we’re doing the best we can. I understand if you’re not keen on mingling, but my advice is to start small, on your own terms. It turns out that if you keep your eyes up and your mind open, you’re likely to meet some very nice people.

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