I was warned that the first 6 months of daycare would be challenging. The transitions are tough, the routine is new and the illnesses are rampant. While my son was thriving in this new environment, I had no idea how sick we would be for half a year. My otherwise healthy, happy, energetic one-year-old was dealing with a new illness every week – yes, week! And so were my husband and me. How to Survive the First 6 Months of Daycare During Cold and Flu Season.

My guy started daycare in September last year, just in time for the Winter germs to settle in for a long hibernation. We battled the usual suspects – cold after cold, virus after virus, and in my guy’s case, five ear infections in five months. Everything came with a fever, goop, coughing, rashes, and stuffiness. We got our first call for an early pick up on his third day. I had only been back to work for two and half days before I had to take time off.

I could deal with being sick. But when your little one is sick, they can’t be in daycare. This creates an emotional and logistical nightmare. If your little one is healthy and typical and is going to daycare or school for the first time, here’s my advice:

1. Remember, germs are good and viruses are normal.

I am not really a clean-freak mom. I think germs are good! Great, even! I read a book called Let Them Eat Dirt, which really made the case for germs in building microbes and a healthy system in those early years. Even my doctor reminded me that all of the viruses kids contract when they start daycare or school are normal. By all means, build those immunities. But you have to be prepared…

2. Keep it clean.

The usual tactics aren’t much of a safeguard, but do them anyway – handwashing, vitamins, flu shots, hand sanitizer (for parents), and making sure to label all the items that go to daycare with them. Colds are going to happen, but do what you can to minimize the transmission to protect others. Plus, there is some really nasty stuff out there that you can avoid with good habits.

3. Make a plan.

You’re going to have days where you kid can’t go to daycare or school. And that might mean you can’t go to work, or you have to call in the reinforcements. It’s always good to have a back up plan ready – do you have a grandparent or sitter than can be ‘on call’? Do you have any flexibility at work where you can shift hours, work from home or take time off when you need to? Can you and your partner take turns with a sick child? Have these conversations in advance so your plan is in place when you’re covered in vomit, going on no sleep and have a crying child in your arms. Yes, us parents have to sacrifice vacation time and pay sitters when we already pay for daycare. Yes, it’s unfair, and yes we will get through it.

4. Prepare for sleepless nights.

Flashback to those newborn days where you were up all night – and all day. A sick child can mean lots of late night crying and snuggles. Plus, they might be teething or transitioning at the same time, which doesn’t help. That means parents aren’t sleeping at night, plus you’re caring for a sick child all day while catching up on work. Remember that self-care is important or you will crash. Adrenaline can only go so far.

5. Know your health care options.

Make sure your Doctor’s phone number is handy, know their hours, and know your options for when your Doctor is not available. Do they have an on call service? Does your State or Province have a telephone service for health care questions? Where is the closest clinic? Which ER is best equipped for children? What’s the parking situation there? You might need to act fast in the case of illness and it’s good to have your options at your fingertips so you can make the best decision in the moment.

6. Be an advocate.

I truly believe that my health care providers know a lot more than me – the first-time, worried mom who just googled herself into an early grave. I trust them and I listen to them and they have been spot on. But if your child is not right, you know. If you think you were dismissed with a cold but you know it’s something more serious – push for more. If you don’t think you need antibiotics for a sniffle, do your due diligence. Go with your gut.

No one said that being a parent is easy, but I was not prepared for the extreme juggling act that came along with my sweet and precious bundle of germs. Like everything in parenthood, this too is a phase.

if you’re looking for how to label your stuff for daycare – here are some tips from the pros!

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The post How to Survive the First 6 Months of Daycare During Cold and Flu Season appeared first on The Mabelhood.

We’re in the middle of a global pandemic, and yet life is starting to feel more ‘normal.’

Don’t get me wrong, I am acutely aware that our lives have been very different and turned upside down this year. But, now we can dine at restaurants. Kids can go to day camp and daycare – if you can find a spot. We can get our hair cut and grocery shop freely.

At some point recently I realized that while I was still sanitizing my delivered groceries, wiping down my doorbell and living in my bubble, the rest of the world seemed to return to life as normal.

I want to do all of these things, too. Now that participating in social activities is ‘ok,’ I should loosen up, right?

But there is still a contagious and unpredictable virus out there. We’re learning that in rare cases, kids might be affected by COVID-19 in a way that is scarier than we first thought. And it seems that everyone has a different interpretation of social distancing, when masks should be worn and whether or not we should follow the ‘rules.’

So what’s the right thing?

Does it depend where you live? Maybe.

Does it matter if you’re immune compromised? Perhaps.

Will the spread of the virus get worse before it gets better? Who knows.

I know some families that are continuing to stay in isolation. Their kids are at home, they are not opening up their ‘bubbles’ to anyone and they are strictly staying 6 feet from all other humans.

I know some families that are living life as normal. They have to work outside of the home and their kids are in childcare. Their children have playdates with friends, and they have social gatherings in their home.

And there are so many different scenarios in between.

I am in no position to say what is the right way or the wrong way to do things. Experts cannot agree either. There is no precedent; there is no rulebook for this situation. I do know that for me and my family, no decision feels completely right.

There are a million unique circumstances that families have to factor into their reasoning for how they choose to adapt to our new normal. Our mental health, our physical health, our livelihood, our need for frontline workers, and the health of the greater population all need to be taken into consideration.

We will likely be living with this virus for a long time before we have access to a vaccine. We have to do what we have to do (as long as we are doing it within the rules that have been set for us). At the same time, we can only assume the risks that we are willing – even if this means we are judged for being too cautious or missing out on the Summer we imagined.

When there is no clear right or wrong, you have to trust your gut. Nobody knows this better than a mom.

The post When There’s No Right Way, Trust Your Gut, Mama. appeared first on The Mabelhood.

1. I have never felt so seen.

It is always nice to feel seen. I am particularly a fan of posts that bring light to our struggles without making it a competition, implying that the writer is worse off than others. Thank you to this user for this beautiful message that helps to validate all of our feelings.

2. Genius bubble holder hack.

I wish I saw this years ago as I reflect on all of those summer days with bubbles in hand (instead of the refreshing beverage I was dreaming of). Finally, hours (err…minutes?) of backyard fun that’s not going to end in tears because the bubbles spilled.

3. The kids are alright.

As we are all struggling, and rightfully complaining, I thought it was beautiful to read something about the bright side of all of this. This crazy circumstance does give us the chance to hug our little people a few more times each day and observe what makes them truly wonderful.

4. Things we all have said today…

Same, girl. Same.

5. Washable markers idea for toddlers.

This does not look like something I’d normally ever allow, but “when in quarantine.” I would seriously try just about anything right now to keep my little one busy and this looks like loads of fun. And how about that marker holder? Only thing missing are some Small Rectangle Labels on those gorgeous markers

6. This couple is making the near-impossible work.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think we should be praising our partners for simply doing their part, but this was a beautiful snapshot of a family struggling and making it through with all hands on deck. When I read this, I can feel in my gut how much I appreciate my partner when he knows exactly what I need. With so many people taking to Reddit to complain about their relationships, this was refreshing.

7. It’s okay if your house is a playground.

My entire house is a playroom and it feels like when we tidy up one thing, ten more messes pop up. It’s like whack-a-mole in here! I basically brave an obstacle course to get to my morning coffee and it’s stressing me out. Seeing this image that this user shared really opened my eyes to what my son needs right now from our space. Oh, and it’s giving me a reason not to tidy. Bonus.

8. Dealing with the feeling of loss.

It is easy to dismiss our feelings as ‘first-world-problems’ (i.e. not really problems) when we just have to stay healthy in the comfort of our homes, but the fact is many of us our grieving a loss in some way. If I think about having a two-year-old in a small apartment, I would be losing my mind. This mom is sharing her honest feelings and opening up is helping us all find empathy and deal with our own losses.

9. An epic busy board idea.

Grandparents for the win! Something tells me both Grandpa and toddler filled a lot of hours with this one.

10. Spoiler: it’s not relaxing.

I’m seeing those of you who are organizing your homes, chalk painting your furniture and bingeing on awesome Netflix shows. I’m feeling a bit inadequate for not learning a new language or finding a new exercise routine during this time. This image reminded me why I feel like I have less time than ever and I think it is a needed nod to stay-at-home parents whose jobs are incredibly difficult.

Reddit is full of answers to your most obscure questions and there’s a community for just about everyone on there. As a parent, some of the subreddits I like to follow are Mommit, Parenting, Beyond the Bump, Kids Crafts and of course our new Mabel’s Labels corner of the Reddit world. If this sounds like a foreign language to you, the best way to get familiar is to download the Reddit app and start exploring. Even if you’re just lurking, the community has a lot to offer.

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The post 10 Reddit Posts This Week That Remind Parents We’re All In This Together appeared first on The Mabelhood.

As a parent in isolation, I am struggling with homeschooling and working simultaneously. My grey hairs are multiplying (with no hope of dyeing over them anytime soon) and though my ‘struggles’ are not really problems, like many, I’m feeling overwhelmed and worried. Still, during this most odd and stressful time, I can’t help but also notice glimmers of joy. There are beautiful moments of good blooming out of an otherwise grim time in our history.

The community has rallied

It has been wonderful to see neighbours support one another, masses cheer for our healthcare workers and businesses pivot to help in a crisis. I love going for my walks to be encouraged by sidewalk chalk art and kind words written in the windows. The outpouring of free online resources, like yoga classes, audio books and learning activities are ample and generous. People are sewing masks, making cheery porch drops, fiercely supporting small businesses and organizing “birthday parades” to help loved ones celebrate. It’s amazing how much we have connected with one another through this shared experience of isolation.

My calendar is clear

Rushing from work, to after-school pick-up, to swimming lessons – and cramming in dinner on the go – can be a racket. Travelling for business leaves me with a big to-do list at home. Come mid-March, I deleted every single thing from my personal calendar for a of couple months, and it felt kind of nice.

 This new normal has overwhelmed me in fresh ways, but I have also found myself just enjoying our backyard that we’ve worked so hard on, baking things I’d never otherwise have time for and catching up on Netflix shows with my husband. If the laundry doesn’t get done, it doesn’t really matter because I have lots of PJ pants. If there’s toothpaste in my sink, who cares…no one is stopping by. This chance to slow the pace, without any FOMO, is kind of nice, and it will probably never happen again.  

The Earth will thank us 

Remember when we didn’t think we could possibly cut down on vehicle and flight emissions? I think it’s safe to say we’re doing it. I wish it wasn’t at a significant and devastating cost to our economy and people’s livelihood. But if we have to do it anyway, I think it will be interesting to evaluate the dent we’ve made in our fight against Climate Change and how we can sustain some of these measures as we realize we can live differently.

We’re making memories  

How often do we implore time to slow down, or wish we could go back and enjoy a younger version of our child. I am spending 24/7 with my son (and that is challenging!), but I am in awe of his resilience, curiosity, and his gosh darn adorableness. It turns out, when I’m not yelling at him to get his shoes and get out the door, I’ve enjoyed laughing with him. We have laid on the grass and watched the clouds. Together we have inspected a blooming flower. I think I will look back on this time together full of simple pleasures and recognize how special it actually was.

It is not lost on me that many of us are experiencing extreme financial hardship, devastating health issues and debilitating mental health challenges, all triggered by the COVID-19 pandemic. Our frontline workers are facing the most stressful times of their life. Those of us that are safe and healthy in isolation are still experiencing fear, grief and anxiety. All of our feelings are valid, and these joyful moments regrettably do not extend to us all.

I’m not going to say, “let’s focus on the positives!” when so many are experiencing trauma and the most difficult circumstances of their lives. I am, however, curious to see how this moment in history changes the fabric of how we live and interact with one another.

The post Finding the Joy in Isolation appeared first on The Mabelhood.

I know that we are spared from the endless sibling squabbles, next-level multitasking, and teaching multiple grade levels at home – kudos to you parents of two, three or more! Though, I worry that this ‘only-child syndrome’ thing may be taken to a whole new level as we navigate this new world of isolation.

While he’s happy and thriving (there are kids who have endured far worse!), I want to ensure he is not missing out on the social stimulation needed to support his development at this age. I am finding him harassing our cat, or talking to our Google Home, far too often. Here are some ways I’m trying to keep my ‘only’ from getting too lonely.

Embracing technology

Before COVID-19 there was no way I was giving my 4-year-old a device – especially my own phone – to use to chat with his friends. But now? He’s using Messenger Kids, WhatsApp, Zoom and Facetime to connect with friends from school, cousins and grandparents. Chatting with those he used to see regularly has given him some normalcy, even if these four-year-olds just say silly things, or co-exist virtually, saying nothing at all. I’ve been showing him Instagram stories that parent friends post of the kids he knows. He’s able to see that his peers are doing the same thing as him. And for grandparents, a video chat is like a big virtual hug, brightening their day as much as ours.

Walking the neighbourhood

We try to get out every day, no matter what the weather. Each time we do, we see classmates and bus buddies playing in their yards or out on a bike ride. My son is overjoyed to say hello from a distance and see that his pals are doing the same things he does. I’ve seen that older kids are leaving each other notes with chalk on their driveways, and we’ve use our walk to pop notes in the mail for friends.

Making time for play

This is a tough one for me, because I would rather work, make dinner or tidy up than pretend I am Rubble waiting on my mission from Chase. I often find myself saying ‘no’ to these silly requests, but I have to catch myself. My kiddo has no one else to engage in imaginative play, parallel play or anything else that four-year-olds like to do. It has to be me or my husband. This means I’m playing a game of tag in the house or dressing up much more often than I would like to, but my son is fulfilled when I say, ‘yes’ to play.

Having an honest chat

Our children are sensing our anxiety and fear, and for an only child who is around only stressed out adults, they can really internalize these feelings themselves. I make a point to ask my son if he has any questions about everything that’s going on and to talk about what he’s feeling. I try to keep things age-appropriate, but factual. I want to assure him that this situation is temporary and that I’m proud of him for handling it so well.

In the end, kids are generally resilient and most of our kids will get through this unscathed. While the lack of sibling bickering just might be saving our sanity, those of us who are parents of ‘only’ kids may just need to put in some extra TLC these days.

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The post My Only Child Won’t See Another Kid For Months. Here’s What I’m Doing About It appeared first on The Mabelhood.

Before I was a mom, I had all kinds of ideas about how I would parent. No television. Limited processed foods. And I certainly wouldn’t stand for a tantrum in the grocery store. (Hah! I was so funny back then.)

Now that my son’s 20 months – and I’ve been living in survival mode for the past couple of years – I’m happy if he’s content, even if it means he’s eating goldfish crackers while dancing to an inappropriate top 40 song.

All of my naïve parenting plans have gone out the window and I don’t feel bad about that. One thing I did not consider, though, was my screen time in the presence of my kid. And I need to make a change.

I’m going to be honest, I often find my face in my phone when I’m hanging out with my toddler – during play time, bath time and even dinner time. I justify this because I have to do my banking, my work is on my phone, and maybe I have to Google my kid’s rash, or cough, or whatever ailment he has that day, before he goes to bed.

I think I became more dependent on my phone when he was a newborn. I had a million mom questions that only the internet could answer, and I would multitask and search on my phone while breastfeeding. I also needed to connect with other adults (shout out to my mommy friends group chat) for support, advice, and let’s be real – sanity.

Now, I am trying to fit in a full day of work (no more consuming than being a stay-at-home parent) and take care of my son’s needs, with a very limited window to handle anything in my own life. Parent problems, right? This means I’m trying to check out the news, make an online purchase or post an adorable Instagram photo during my time with him – on my phone.

But what does this look like to my son? He’s at a critical stage of development, absorbing everything like a sponge, learning how to interact with the world by reading my social and emotional cues. I’m not talking about my Facebook post with emojis. I’m talking about my real, physical presence.

Early Childhood Development research shows that babies and toddlers need a responsive environment where they can emotionally bond with caregivers and interact with the physical world around them. When I’m buried in my phone, he might as well be learning to interact with a wall. He feels unimportant and ignored.

I’m not saying that I’ve neglected my son, but I think I can do better for him. I’ve set a goal to stay off my phone during our time together. For me, this means physically leaving it in another room so I’m not tempted by every ping, buzz or glance. I’ve decided that I don’t need to live tweet my life or document every precious moment with a photo (hey brain, it’s up to you to store those memories now). Maybe my kid will unlearn that a smartphone is a trigger for saying the word “cheese!”.

What is your relationship with your favourite device? How does it impact your kids? I’m sure I’m not the only one who needs to do a check in here. I’d encourage tips for ditching the device in the comments.

If we don’t make these changes when our kids are little, I think we might be impacting their development, perception of the world and their own dependence on these almighty devices. At the very least, we won’t have much traction in telling our kids to put their own phones away at the dinner table.

The post Putting down the device – why I’m limiting my own screen time appeared first on The Mabelhood.