I soon discovered that my view was not the norm and that the subject of finding out versus not finding out was a hot topic, guaranteed to bring out strong opinions and a whole lot of debate.

For the remainder of the pregnancy, I had so many people tell me I was crazy and that there was no reason to wait. I totally understand the temptation to find out and I definitely don’t judge those who choose to know, but once I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl (surprise!), I felt even more strongly that I had made the right decision.

I know this post won’t change the minds of mamas who are absolutely convinced that finding out their baby’s sex is a must. But if anyone out there is considering keeping it a surprise, here are my 10 reasons why it’s TOTALLY worth it:

1. All your newborn clothes will be gender neutral (so they can be used again, no matter what).

   I think it would be a real bummer to have a girl and then have a boy next and not be able to use 90% of the baby clothes you already own. Every single piece of clothing I bought or was gifted before my daughter was born was gender-neutral, and they were no less cute! There are tons of adorable options outside of the pink and blue realm, but if everyone knows what you’re having, they end up buying you really gender-specific items. Save yourself the expense of having to repurchase newborn clothes! Even if you’re not planning on having another baby, it means you can hand down your items to anyone, no matter their baby’s gender.

2. People actually gift you stuff other than clothes.

   People love gifting cutesy clothing. It gets a big reaction and let’s face it, it’s fun to buy. But if the gender isn’t known, people are way more likely to forgo clothes and instead buy you gear that you ACTUALLY need. When you have your first baby, you’ll be drowning in baby onesies. In fact, you’ll have so many, you’ll likely never get to use them all before your baby grows out of them. Things like swings, carriers, bottles and diaper bags are costly and way more useful to you long term.

3. It makes the birth announcement just that: an announcement.

   

   For me, not knowing what I was having made those first calls to family and friends that much sweeter. I will forever remember the cries of joy from our loved ones with the “It’s a….” phone call. I’ve also been on the receiving end of them and there’s nothing like the anticipation of waiting for the birth and the announcement of what the baby is. It makes that call even more exciting for everyone, the parents and the receivers of the news!

4. It’s an exercise in delayed gratification.

   In today’s world, technology gives us the ability to know everything right here, right now. People aren’t even waiting for the sonogram anymore, now they can pay to have a blood test that confirms gender mere days into their pregnancy! It’s great that we’ve come so far with these technological advances, but it also means we don’t really know how to wait anymore. Finding out the sex of your baby isn’t a need, it’s a want. I loved forcing myself to relax, wait and take a “whatever will be, will be” approach to my pregnancy. Finding out kind of felt like peeking at the gift before opening it on Christmas Day. Sure, there were moments that I felt tempted to know, but I was fairly at ease with not knowing and it just gave me that little bit of extra motivation when I was finally pushing those babies out!

5. It keeps you from buying stuff you don’t need.
   

   It’s hard enough to resist buying every little floral patterned swaddle or truck themed bib once you HAVE a baby. Not knowing makes you wait a little longer on those unnecessary impulse purchases and once you’ve had the baby, your focus isn’t on all the ‘stuff’ anymore.

6. There are no moments of disappointment.

   Of course we’re all happy with whatever baby we’re blessed with and of course, a healthy baby is everyone’s biggest wish, but there’s no denying that we all have a tiny hope one way or the other. Maybe there are lots of boys in your extended family and you’re anticipating having the first girl. Maybe you already have 2 girls and are hoping your third baby will be a boy. Maybe your husband is vocally rooting for one or the other. I’ve heard a few women admit that they had a moment of post-sonogram disappointment. And while I’m sure it didn’t last long, knowing ahead of time does mean you’ll have to process the news.

   I was secretly hoping for a boy with my first, and you know what? When my husband yelled “It’s a girl!” and she was placed on my chest, there was no way I was feeling ANY disappointment. Gender let-down is NO threat to the adrenaline and pure joy you feel after giving birth. You’re instantly in love and it’s guaranteed to be the happiest moment of your life, no matter what.

7. Nobody asks about names.

   I’ve recently heard so many pregnant friends and family members complain that they don’t want to share the baby’s name but everyone asks, so they’re constantly having to fend people off. I didn’t even realize this was a thing! When someone asks you “What are you having?” and you tell them you don’t know, they just don’t bother investigating further!

8. It keeps people guessing (and really ticks them off).

   I was shocked at how annoyed some people got with my decision to not find out the sex! I had family members begging me to have the ultrasound tech write it down so they could know, even if I didn’t. I had friends desperately trying to convince me that I should find out and was absolutely out of my mind for waiting. It’s kind of fun to push the envelope and watch everyone squirm over your decision. Plus, it makes for some entertaining (and sometimes heated) conversations!

9. Knowing the gender isn’t going to change anything.

   It doesn’t make a damn difference. Whether you know or not, the same baby is going to come out. And don’t listen to the cries of “you can’t properly prepare if you don’t know!”. Babies need love, food and sleep. Painting the nursery blue instead of gray isn’t going to make the sleepless nights any easier. Cribs will be bought and car seats will be assembled, regardless of whether the baby’s sex is known or not.

10. The moment you find out will be one you NEVER forget.

    From the dawn of time until a mere 30ish years ago, women had no choice but to learn the sex of their baby at the birth, and I really think it was designed that way for a reason. Obviously giving birth is an unforgettable experience regardless, but there is something transcendental about discovering WHO your baby is in the moment they make that journey out of your body to begin their own life. No preconceived notions, no name preassigned. With the births of both of my children, the moment I met them felt so spiritual that it just seems right to have done it with the anticipation nature intended me to have.

At the birth of my second child, that perfectly round baby was immediately placed on my chest and I looked down to finally discover what I was having. I cried, “It’s a boy!”. My husband began sobbing tears of joy. “We got a boy!” he yelled, over and over. At that very second, my amazing midwife motioned to my mom to pick up our camera and to snap a picture of the moment.

We will cherish it forever.

Having a c-section? Read here about Julie Cole’s experience with having six c-sections! 

The post 10 Reasons Why NOT Finding Out The Gender of Your Baby Is Awesome appeared first on The Mabelhood.

So, in honour of this absolutely appetizing event, we decided to roundup 5 of our favourite game day recipes from around the web. They’re quick and easy to pull together and so yummy, you won’t have any leftovers (which, in this case, is definitely a good thing). Game on!!

Mozzarella Bites:

Recipe here on PureWow.

Fully Loaded Black Bean Nachos with Red and Green Salsas:

Recipe here on Bon Appetit.

Blue Cheese Guacamole Stuff Mushrooms with Buffalo Sauce:

Recipe here on Half Baked Harvest.

Slow Cooker Buffalo Chicken Sliders:

Recipe here on Real Housemoms.

Potato Skins:

Recipe here on Simply Recipes.

The post 5 Easy & Delicious Superbowl Recipes appeared first on The Mabelhood.

I scoured dozens YouTube videos and blogs posts before having my first baby for lists of what to pack in a hospital bag and we ended up bringing two huge duffel bags to the hospital of stuff I was told I would “need”. The reality? Those bags sat completely untouched the whole time we were there. So, when I had my second baby, I packed one small little gym bag with JUST the essentials. It was easy to transport and easy to unpack once I was home again.

I’m not a high-maintenance gal. When I have a baby, I leave the hospital in my adult diaper and sweatpants. I am not putting on makeup or doing my hair. I am not accessorizing. I am not dressing the baby in a cute and well-planned outfit or having a hospital room photo shoot. I am not bringing my own hospital gown (why do people do that?) and I am not having someone come to bank my baby’s cord blood or encapsulate my placenta. Truthfully, after the births of both my children, I needed very few things. The hospital provided most of the medical necessities and if something came up that I unexpectedly needed. My husband could just hop in the car and go get it.

So, if you’re a low-key gal like me, read on for a realistic hospital bag list that comes straight from experience.

My Bare-Minimum Must Haves:

Huge, super-comfortable underwear – Buy a pack of soft, cotton granny panties. They do not need to be cute. Bring 2 or 3 pairs in case you need them, but you’ll probably spend all your time in the AMAZING diapers they provide to you during your stay.

Large pads (The biggest you can find) – I suggest bringing a handful, but I only ever used these when it was time to go home.

1 to 2 outfits for the baby and 1 pair baby socks – My babies always stayed unclothed while we were at the hospital. We were either doing skin-to-skin or they were swaddled. I only ever dressed them when it was time to go home. Keep the outfits simple and soft. The umbilical cord will likely stain the onesie and it’s hard to get their delicate tiny bodies into anything too complicated anyways. The hospital will give you a cute little knitted hat for going home.

Warm blanket for baby – To my last point. Don’t bother with sweaters or layers. Just bring a cozy blanket to wrap over them when you head home.

Comfortable pants and loose shirt or sweater – No Kate Middleton exit happening here. You’ll want something loose and soft for your sore, diapered bottom and your now rock-hard, swollen breasts.

Bathrobe – I loved having this for labour when I got chilly and for resting in the hospital bed once the baby was born. Some people bring pajamas, but I just stay in the hospital gown.

Cell phone charger– EASILY FORGOTTEN!

Cell phone and wallet – Obviously.

Camera (if you use one) – Otherwise just have your cell phone ready to go.

Warm socks or slippers – Hospitals are cold and you’ll want something on your feet when you’re doing laps during labour.

Diapers – You really only need a few just in case. The hospital will have diapers for your baby while you’re there.

Baby Soap- Why bring face wash, body wash, shampoo, conditioner AND wash for the baby? I didn’t even shower in the hospital either time! if you DO decide to scrub up, baby soap smells great, is super gentle and multi-purpose. You can use it to give the baby a bath of you want to (although the hospital will provide soap for that, too)

Hair tie/brush – This was the extent of my hospital beauty routine. I brushed out my post-labour rat’s nest and put my hair up out of my face.

Comfortable, roomy sports bra or nursing bra – As your milk comes in your breasts will change in size and believe me, you won’t want to be squeezing them into an underwire bra.

Lip balm – Your lips can get super dry from all that pushing and controlled breathing!

And that’s it! That should have you covered for what you really NEED. Some people bring things like a breast pump, makeup, snacks, music, a blow dryer, a pillow, books, etc, but I didn’t miss any of those items and if I had, it would have been easy enough to have someone go grab them for me. Happy packing!

The post The Low-Key Gal’s Guide to Packing a Hospital Bag appeared first on The Mabelhood.

And by fight, I mean the kind of yelling match that lingers in the air for days after, leaving everyone feeling raw, exhausted and regretful of their behaviour. The kind of fight that only happens once every few years.

I knew we were due to crack, tensions had been rising for days. It was just a matter of when it would finally come to a head.

There’s been nothing normal about our lives over the past 3 weeks in isolation. We’ve both been trying to keep up our busy full-time jobs from home, while still caring for our 3-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter. Our days have been spent feverishly typing away on our computers during any spare moments that aren’t spent preparing snacks, breaking up bickering siblings or consoling their boredom tantrums.

They’ve spent hours each day zombied-out in front of a screen. It’s the only way we can get a moment of quiet to join conference calls or write critical emails. Sometimes 2pm hits and I realize I haven’t even fed them lunch and, because they’re deep into their 10th episode of Blippi, they haven’t even bothered to ask.

Online learning? Virtual classrooms? Pffff. My son has a 5-minute attention span and my daughter’s kindergarten assignments involve about 20 minutes of reading and writing practice, all of which are met with resistance and a battle that I just don’t have the emotional capacity for these days.

On top of that, the tension and stress in the house is palpable. The kids are more nervous, more sensitive than ever before. And how could I blame them? They’ve seen more crying and yelling in the last 3 weeks than they have their entire life. My husband and I are in a constant muttering-under-our-breath battle over whose turn it is to be “on” with the kids and who’s getting more quality working hours. Everyone’s nerves are frayed.

Believe me, I know we’re SO privileged to still have full-time work and a roof over our heads in this time when millions of people are losing their jobs and facing financial ruin. We’re lucky that we’re healthy and that we don’t have medical conditions that would make us high risk if we got sick. We’re all at home safe and our struggles are nothing compared to so many, but that doesn’t change the reality that this is hard as hell.

As a parent, it feels downright abusive to have to spend every day saying ‘no’ to each innocent request from my daughter who, in this time of uncertainty, is desperate for some normalcy. It feels wrong to be staring at my computer screen, ignoring my toddler’s presence, instead of making eye contact with him and giving him the loving form of reassurance he needs.

And as an employee I’m also failing. By the end of each day, my to-do list and email inbox have grown and I’m no further ahead. “Work unusual hours!” online articles suggest, but by 8pm when the house is finally quiet, my brain wants a break (no, NEEDS a break) so that I’m capable of continuing on the next day. The world needs to stop trying to find a solution to this and just admit what everyone who’s living it already knows: This can’t be fixed by working unusual hours or following a strict family schedule.

The reality of all this is that it’s not going to get easier. Sure, we may eventually become a little more complacent and our kids may get somewhat used to this new ‘normal’, but it’s never going to feel right. Parenting and working are two separate full-time jobs and it’s impossible to succeed at both simultaneously.

And that’s exactly why my husband and I blew up. There’s no solution, so we blamed each other. But the morning after our fight we did what we always do as parents. We smiled, we put our brave faces on and we pretended everything was alright.

…

The post Why This Isn’t Working For Working Parents appeared first on The Mabelhood.

With the recent closure of schools and daycares across North America, parents have been faced with the task of entertaining their kids at home for the next few weeks (at least). Listen mamas, the reality of all of this is that it’s going to be hard, it’s going to be boring, and we’re all going to go a little bit stir crazy. It’s a completely necessary measure and it’s our responsibility to take it seriously and stop the spread of this pandemic. But, that doesn’t change the fact that everyone’s kids are home and they’re ALL asking the same question: What are we going to do today?

My best friend is an elementary school teacher, and when I wrote her in an absolute panic about being stuck in the house with my two little children for 3 weeks straight, her response made me stop and think about the situation in a whole new way. “Listen, this is going to be really stressful for you, but ultimately your kids are going to have fond memories of these 3 weeks at home with their mom and dad for the rest of their lives!”

She’s so right. My kids aren’t going to remember the chaos and stress surrounding all of this. They’re going to remember the fort building, the dance parties and the cuddly movie nights. There’s no denying that I have a challenging few weeks ahead of me, but I know that by creating a little bit of structure to our days and finding new and unusual activities for my kids, we’ll be able to get through it!

So, I’ve spent the last few days rounding up every resource and idea I could find for parents of school-aged children. Need some inspiration? Read on!

Activities you can do with them:

Have a monkey-see-monkey-do dance party! Each person picks a song and chooses the dance moves while everyone copies them.

Bake or cook: Choose a kid-friendly recipe and work together to complete it, beginning to end. (Don’t worry about the mess!)

Explore a museum or gallery from the comfort of your own home! Broadcast one of these amazing virtual tours that are available onto your TV and enjoy it as a family.

Host a laundry folding session and have each member of the family fold their clothes and then put them away. 

Go on a scavenger hunt walk. Give each child a list of items them need to find and a marker to check them off as they do. It gives purpose to going on a walk so that they don’t get bored as quickly. 

Open an at-home spa for every member of the family to enjoy. Make face masks, paint nails and take turns receiving massages!

Create a maze on the floor with painters’s tape. 

Have family movie nights. Build a fort for cuddling in and let everyone watch in their PJs with a big bowl of popcorn. 

Organize and clean those areas of the house you can never get to. Involve your kids by assigning them a part of the task they can handle (taking everything out of a closet, for example).

Paint still life pictures. Set up an object and sit together as a family to paint it with watercolors or pastels. Each person paints their own interpretation and then gets a chance to present it to the group at the end. 

Put on a yoga class on the TV and have everyone participate.

Practice your accents: There are lots of different accent videos on YouTube and you’re sure to all laugh at the silliness while you try to master one.

Pull out every family-friendly board game you own. Now’s the time to sit down and try them all!

If it’s nice outside, get out and do a little family gardening. Raking, planting and watering is easy enough for any age and sure to keep kids happy and occupied for at least a little while.

Activities they can do by themselves:

Draw a huge mural picture. Roll out a huge piece of paper and tape it to the floor. Give your kids markers or crayons and let them go to town. They can even trace each other and draw scenes around it.

Download the DuoLingo app on your tablet, computer or phones and have your child complete a full language course in French or Spanish (it’s good for ages 4+ and super easy for any child to follow).

If your child is a little older, use Scratch and have them learn to code their own game.

Have your kids put on a play. Give them the assignment of creating their characters and a story, putting together costumes and rehearsing. Once they’re done, they can perform the entire thing for you. 

Have 1 hour of mandatory “quiet time”. Everyone can choose to read quietly in bed, have a nap or lay down and listen to soft, relaxing music.

Let them enjoy story time with celebrities: Storyline Online has tons of videos of awesome books being read by all your favourite stars.

If they’re old enough to eat unassisted, send them out to the backyard with a picnic lunch. Pack up everything they’ll need and let them set themselves up and enjoy the independence. 

Have a letter of the day and every morning, announce what it is. Then, when you need some time to yourself, pull out a stack of old magazines and have your kids cut out every picture they find that starts with that letter.

…

The post 25 Easy Activities For Kids During School Closures appeared first on The Mabelhood.

“If we buy this house, we’re not having another baby. You know that, right?”

Deep down, I kind of already knew that. But hearing my husband say it out loud made my stomach drop. When we decided to buy a new home this spring, it solidified our future with a reality I wasn’t quite ready to accept: No more babies.

Don’t get me wrong, we’re exhausted and busy with the two we have, but I’d always reserved a little hope that eventually, we’d have a third to complete our little family. For some reason, I’ve always felt like it’s my destiny to have three kids. Maybe it’s because I come from three, maybe it’s because my husband also comes from three. Or maybe it’s just because I truly enjoy pregnancy and child rearing.

Whatever the reason, it has always meant that outgrown baby clothes get quietly tucked away in our basement and strollers and high chairs are stored, not sold off.

But the reality is, with the cost of our new home, we just can’t afford another mat leave and another 3 years of daycare. A third child also means a bigger car, two to three more years of buying diapers and a whole other education fund. So, I’ve had to quickly accept that we’re probably going to stay a family of four. 

It’s got me thinking about how we decide our families are complete. If I’m feeling like the conclusion of my family is for financial reasons, am I really meant to be done? What about people who plan to stop having kids, but end up with the happy surprise of one more? When we’re done, do we just know? Should I feel happy about the completion of my family, or is it normal to feel sad and mournful?  

One thing that’s for sure is that this reality check has made me stop and focus on what we do have and the positives in our family staying just the way it is:

We’re out of the baby stage. I feel like we’ve turned a corner since our youngest turned two. We have so much more freedom now that we’re not contending with tiny babies and I’ve got to admit, it’s pretty awesome. Everything is simpler when you’re not constantly nursing, fretting over nap schedules or changing diapers. 

I finally get to focus on my career. The last 5 years of my life have been a blur of pregnancies, maternity leaves and exhaustion. It feels amazing to be able to really commit myself to my interests and my job. I’m able to make long-term goals for myself and really work towards them. It’s also leveled the playing field and forced my husband to take a more active role in events at school and pick-ups and drop-offs. I’m not home on baby duty anymore, we both work busy, full-time jobs, so there’s no reason for me to do it all.

We actually get sleep. And it will only get better. Guys, this one is huge! We put both our kids to bed by 8 pm and they don’t wake up until the next morning. I actually can’t even imagine going back to night feedings and sleep battles. Plus, I hear they’ll eventually start sleeping in!? 

Life will start to get less expensive. We’ve been paying $1,200 a month, at minimum, in childcare fees for FOUR YEARS. Once our youngest is out of daycare and diapers, we’ll have that back in our pockets every month. This could mean more family vacations, more dates, more babysitters, the possibilities are exciting!

Packing up to move has been bittersweet. We’re leaving the home where I brought both of my babies home from the hospital. We’re leaving the floors on which they took their first steps, the walls in which they spoke their first words. And truthfully, as I give away the storage boxes full of onesies and sell all the gear, I can’t help but feel sad that I’ll never feel those little kicks in my belly again or nurse another infant to sleep. All I can do is keep reminding myself that there will be new memories, new firsts and new moments. 

It all feels like a bit of a metaphor for motherhood, doesn’t it? The end of one phase is just the beginning of another.

I may be done with babies, but I’m far from done this journey with my babies. As they grow, so will I. Maybe this is exactly how our family is meant to be….for now, anyways. 

 ….

The post How Do We Know When We’re Done Having Babies? appeared first on The Mabelhood.

We all know that having a baby and sleep deprivation are synonymous with each other. But I’m sure all new moms can relate to – at some point – having felt serious frustration and resentment towards their partner for what feels like a serious inequality in loss of sleep.

How many of us have had to suppress a deep urge to smack a peacefully snoring husband while we’re up feeding/rocking/soothing the baby for the 6th time that night?

How many of us have laid awake, even though we’re utterly exhausted and the baby is sleeping, because our worries or thoughts just won’t won’t let us shut our brains off and go the #*!@ to sleep.

How many of us have boiled on the inside when our partner has commented that they’re “so exhausted”, even though he slept soundly through the night and you didn’t.

Well, mamas, turns out we’re not crazy. 

A new study in Germany examined 4,659 parents and the sleep loss they suffered from pregnancy through the first six years of parenthood. The participating parents rated their sleep quality on a 1 to 10 scale and kept record of how many hours of sleep they were getting on each regular night.

The results are what all us ladies already knew. Sleep duration and satisfaction starts declining during pregnancy for women and then takes a nosedive for both partners immediately following childbirth.

But women take the biggest hit in sleep loss. By far.

In fact, in the first 3 months after childbirth, moms were losing an average of one hour of sleep per night. The dads? They were only sacrificing up to 15 minutes. 

Changes in sleep duration and sleep quality in fathers and mothers during pregnancy and first year of parenthood
Source: SLEEP, Oxford University Press

Once the breastfeeding and baby years were in the past, one might expect that the sleep loss would equal out, but it didn’t. Even when children were between 4 and 6 years old, moms were still losing an average of 20 minutes of sleep per night while dads were still only sacrificing under 15 minutes. 

“We didn’t expect to find that, but we believe that there are certainly many changes in the responsibilities you have,” Dr Sakari Lemola, who co-authored the research, told The Guardian. He explains that while children may not be waking to feed or soothe anymore, they still certainly rouse from being sick or having nightmares.

Interestingly, the study notes that the common stresses and worries associated with parenthood also seem to affect the duration and quality of the mother’s sleep specifically. “Changes in paternal sleep satisfaction and duration after birth compared with pre-pregnancy are less pronounced and reach only around a third or less of the effect sizes seen in mothers. This may be associated with the observation that mothers, including working women, still have more household and child rearing responsibilities and spend more time on these tasks compared with fathers in most industrialized countries.” 

Boom. There it is.

So, to the mamas who are on their fourth cup of coffee and just can’t shake the tired, you’re not alone. And yes, you ARE more tired than your partner. Maybe tonight you’ll sleep a little better knowing that.

…

The post It’s Confirmed: Moms Are Way More Sleep Deprived Than Their Male Partners appeared first on The Mabelhood.

It’s hard out here for a mom. Even the most basic of beauty routines can feel like an impossible task when you hardly get an uninterrupted moment in the bathroom.

I’ve wasted hundreds (maybe thousands?!) of dollars on trying out different beauty products. Mascaras, creams, masks, concealers – I’ve used them all. My bathroom cabinets are a graveyard of half-full lotions and potions that have had their chance and failed miserably. 

Now, I’m no beauty guru. I’m don’t have the time or patience to contour my face or curl my hair. What I’m on is a never-ending search for things that will make me look and feel good using the least effort possible. There’s nothing better than finding a beauty product that not only works well, but simplifies my routine and makes looking presentable an easier and attainable goal.

Here are 5 beauty products I’ve recently discovered that are tried-and-true game changers. They’re the products you tell all your friends about. They work, they’re worth the money, and they’ll make your morning routine a little bit easier (sorry, they don’t pack school lunches).

1. An Inexpensive Mascara That Actually Works

I’ll admit, I’m a bit of a mascara snob. I’ve always splurged on high-end mascaras because they’ve always seemed to work better. Finally, a $10 drugstore mascara has proven me wrong. L’oreal Paris Lash Paradise Mascara delivers the same, if not better, results than any pricey designer brand I’ve tried. The curvy brush hugs every single lash (even the tiny ones in the corners) and doesn’t clump. It instantly makes my wimpy eyelashes look long and full, so on the days when I have no more than 15 seconds to get ready, a coat of this gives my eyes an instant and noticeable boost. Still skeptical? Check out all the amazing reviews it gets online.

2. Crazy Good Skincare Line at Crazy Good Prices

If there’s ONE new thing you try in 2019, it needs to be The Ordinary Skincare. I can’t say enough about this amazing line. You might have heard some of the buzz about this brand over the last year and I can confirm, it’s well deserved. They have a huge line of clinically formulated serums for every skin concern (dryness, dullness, aging, etc.) that really work. But the best part? They’re at too-good-to-be-true prices. I’m talking $6 – $10 a bottle and no, that’s not a typo. Try one out and if you don’t like it, no big deal. It was the same price as your morning latte. The addition of these easy-to-apply serums has drastically improved how my skin looks, meaning those tired, makeup-free days aren’t so scary!

The huge selection of products can be a bit daunting, but there are tons of reviews online to help you choose what’s best suited for your needs. I highly recommend the Hyaluronic Acid, Buffet Serum and the Retinoid Emulsion if you’re looking to add moisture and eliminate signs of aging. 

3. A Simple Skincare Tool With Great Results

Need a little life in that (sleep deprived) face? I don’t know about you other mamas, but my morning shower usually consists of quickly soaping down my body and face whilst listening to the sweet sounds of my children bickering from the other side of the bathroom. I don’t have the desire to spend more time in there using a facial scrub brush or exfoliating. A friend recently bought me this handy little face-washing tool and I immediately fell in love. This cute little Pore Cleansing Pad suctions to your shower wall for easy use and is the perfect way to gently exfoliate and cleanse in one step. Just load your favourite face wash or cleansing oil onto it and then rub in circular motions to remove makeup and dirt. It’s so compact, always in reach and it makes me feel like I’m getting a micro facial every morning… Is that sad?

4. An All-Encompassing Brow Tamer and Filler

One thing I’ve learned over the years is how important eyebrows are. Fuller, shapely eyebrows improve everyone’s face. And yes, we all regrettably over-plucked them in the nineties, which is why if you’re going to spend any time applying makeup, your brows should be top priority. Eyebrows tend to be a two-step process: fill and tame. That always felt like too much for me. Then I met Glossier’s Boy Brow. In one quick swipe over your brows it thickens, tames and fills. It’s basically a mascara for your eyebrows and it’s AH-MAZING. It’s so fast to apply, so effective and looks completely natural. If you’re regretting your tweezer-happy teenage hands and want that I-naturally-look-like-this brow fullness with no work, you’ve got to try this.

5. A Blow Dryer That’s Worth the Investment

Okay, this one is a splurge. But if you’re someone who blow dries their hair regularly, it’s worth the investment. The Dyson Hair Dryer has received all sorts of praise and there’s a reason. It will dry your hair in way less time and it really does leave hair looking a lot smoother and less damaged long-term. Better looking and healthier hair with less effort? Less days rocking a greasy mom bun? I’d chalk that up as a major #momwin. 

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While I truly believe child rearing is one of the most joyful and fulfilling experiences a woman can have, the ugly truth is that it’s often a formula for low self-esteem and a whole lot of self-doubt. 

With your hormones raging, your sleep so interrupted and an unlimited amount of parenting pressures, unsolicited advice and judgement from others, it’s easy to constantly feel like you’re not doing enough and that your kids deserve better. For certain women, self-confidence comes naturally, but for many of us, it takes daily work to recognize our successes and accept our flaws. 

I’m four years into my journey in motherhood and I still struggle with this. No matter what I do, I can’t seem to stop the self-doubting dialogue that runs through my head: I’m not disciplining enough, I should play with them more, I’m being too strict, my house should be cleaner, I’m selfish for wanting alone time, I need to be more organized, I need to be more patient, I look like a bad mom, I need to eat healthier, my kids need to eat healthier, why can’t I be more like that mom? And so on and so on.

But, I’m getting better at it. And over the last 4 years I’ve found that the more I go with my instincts and accept them, the happier I am and, in turn, the happier my kids are.

The truth is, there is no ‘perfect’ mother. You are right for YOUR baby. You are exactly what your little ones need, mistakes and all. And you’re learning from them as much as they’re learning from you.

Here are 5 simple tips to help you feel a little more confident in motherhood:

1. Make a “Parenting Plan” With Your Partner.

No two people are exactly alike, and that’s especially true when it comes to parenting. Once we had kids, my husband and I quickly realized out that we actually had some big differences in our approach to things like discipline. Arguments over parenting choices will only bring division to your family. When you and your partner stand as a united front, your little ones will quickly learn the rules and know what to expect. Consistency also makes day-to-day life run a little smoother, which will make you feel better about your choices. Book a night to sit down together, connect and talk about what your approach to all aspects of parenting is going to be. Write it down if you need to, you can refer back to it later if things start to fall apart. 

2. Follow Your Gut and Be Okay With Whatever That Is.

Feel like your baby just won’t do well with sleep training? Then don’t do it. Find that your little one does better with a super-regimented routine? Great! Feel like formula-feeding is a better choice for both you and your little one? Go for it, mama. You know your baby best and your intuition should be your guide. Just because another another mom does things differently doesn’t mean you’re doing things wrong. Go with what feels right and trust that your instincts are there for a reason. 

3. Be Self-Aware and Learn From Mistakes.

This is a hard one, because it can easily translate into being TOO hard on yourself. Take a little time every day to reflect on what worked well and what didn’t. Find joy in your successes and take note of what could have been better. Maybe you needed to follow through on rules more. Maybe you didn’t like that you lost your cool and yelled. Maybe you just needed to listen to your body and give yourself a break. Reflection will help you be a little bit better tomorrow while also allowing you to celebrate all the amazing things you’re doing! And don’t beat yourself up over a bad day. Every single mom on the planet has them and they are absolutely necessary for growth. 

4. Accept Biology and That Every Child is Different.

While one kid may have trouble in a large play group, another may join in the fun with no hesitation. One parent may not ever deal with tantrums over screen-time, while another one has to set strict rules to avoid big dramatics. Every child has a different personality and biology is a huge part of who they are. It’s why two siblings are never exactly alike: My daughter is calculated and cautious, my son is rambunctious and fearless. She was speaking in sentences by 18 months, yet at the same age he hardly says 5 words. They were raised in the exact same household with the exact same parenting style. Keep doing what works with your child’s personality and they will keep blossoming into the person they were designed to be. That’s one of the most magical things about motherhood – embrace it! 

5. Have Realistic Expectations of Yourself.

Guess what? You won’t be able to do it all. You won’t be a perfect mother every day and you’ll make mistakes while living through all the ups and downs that come with raising a family. Don’t set the bar so high that you can never reach it. I promise you will burn out and sacrifice your own sanity and health in the process. A happy and cared-for mama is the best kind of mama there is. Take time for yourself when you need it, practice self-care and don’t get caught up in the seemingly picture-perfect lives you see on social media (they’re not). You are doing an amazing job. You are doing the best you can. Your baby loves you more than anything and is so lucky to have YOU.

The post 5 Ways to Feel More Confident in Motherhood appeared first on The Mabelhood.

I’m not an antiseptic, germophobic mom.

I know this will disgust a portion of you, but truthfully, I had never paid any attention to where I fell on the “cleanliness scale” until I had children. Then, it suddenly became very clear that my laissez-faire attitude wasn’t the norm for a lot of people. Play dates were full of mamas following their little ones around and obsessively sanitizing their hands, diaper bags were full of clothing changes and stain remover for every messy snack and there were plenty of shouts like “No, don’t touch that – It’s dirty”. Restaurant high chairs were wiped down carefully before a baby was placed in them and food dropped on the floor was immediately grabbed and thrown away like it suddenly carried a life-threatening disease.

This approach shocked me. I had never sterilized dropped soothers and teething toys (a little spit and wipe always sufficed) and I certainly don’t carry hand sanitizer with me. Stained clothing is what I expect with babies and toddlers (in fact, I almost see it as a sign of good times). And yes, I believe in the five-second rule. Cue the gasps!

I’ve also never been bothered by messy or “dirty” activities. My kids go outside without their shoes on. I encourage digging in the dirt, kissing frogs and splashing in puddles. Spending time exploring the world in the most primitive way is the definition of childhood to me. It’s time spent learning while also having fun in a natural playground. Why worry about a little dirt or water? At the end of the day, the clothes go into the laundry and the kids go into the bath. 

For me, motherhood can be very isolating and lonely. Because of that, I’m not going to quarantine myself and my offspring every time someone sniffles and I’m definitely not going to waste precious social gatherings running around worrying about the spread of germs. Instead, I want to focus on connecting with other mothers while letting the kids have a chance to freely interact with each other (spoiler: they’re going to touch and share toys).

I know I’m going to hear some backlash on this. So let me make it clear that I understand there are exceptions, like when a child suffers from a life-threatening allergy or has weakened immunity. Obviously the utmost care needs to be taken in those (and other) circumstances. What I’m talking about is the general public: kids who are resilient and healthy. 

This winter, my family suffered from seasonal illness worse than ever before. Cold-after-cold, flu-after-flu, we were passing viruses back-and-forth from October to April. About halfway through the season I was so sick of fevers and vomit that I blamed myself and decided to get diligent. For months I regularly Lysoled every surface in my house, I chased after my kids all day to wash their hands repetitively and not share their water bottles. And you know what? We all kept getting sick. In fact, we got sick even more. No amount of attentiveness to germs will get you through cold season unscathed when you have a 1-year-old and a 3-year-old. Was I tired by the end of it? Yes. Did we survive? Yes. Will it happen again? You bet.

There’s a lot of research nowadays that supports providing a less-sterile environment for children (here, here and here, for example). Excessive hand washing and sanitization means they’re exposed to less of the microbes that actually strengthen their immune systems. Having a sick baby or toddler is no fun, I get that, but it’s good for them in the long run.

So, mamas. Can we relax a little and let our kids explore the world around them with less worry? Or at least do less judging of us tired mommies who take a more relaxed stance? We’re not dirty slobs, we’re just doing what feels right and keeps us sane. 

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