It’s a question I ask myself quite regularly as a mom of two teenage boys. It mostly occurs when they’re on their headsets gaming with friends. I’ll hear laughing, yelling, squealing, and then there will be conversations that I swear are in a different language. It’s like a secret teenage code. A code…that I’m about to crack!

As parents, I feel like we should at least have an idea of what our kids are talking about, right? So, with a little help from my kids and a few Google searches, I now know what they’re saying – and so do you! Let’s dive in, shall we?

“Sty”

You know how our parents always called us lazy? Well, it’s like this generation said “Here, hold my Root Beer”. If you overhear your child saying things like… “He’s got so much sty!” or “That’s so sty!”, it’s not an eye infection. The word “Sty” is simply short for Style. Yes, the kids of today decided that a word with only one syllable needed to be shortened even more.

“Bet”

To most of us, this word means making a bet with someone. We were forever saying “Wanna bet?!” to all our friends when we were kids about pretty much everything. Well, these days “Bet” means something different.  It basically means… “I agree”. So, if you were to ask your teen if they want pizza for dinner and they respond with “bet” – it means yes. Why can’t they just say yes, you ask? I have no idea. 

“Rizz”

I’m sure you’ve heard kids talking about other kids who have “Rizz”. I asked my boys what it means, and they just said it means someone has “game”, and they can charm people. Then, I decided to do a little Google search and “Rizz” is simply short for “Charisma”. It just sounds so much cooler to say “Rizz”, doesn’t it?

“Gyat”

So, I wasn’t sure if I was going to include this one on the list, but it’s become a common one I hear quite often. “Gyat” refers to someone who has a ‘large behind’ – but in a good way! It’s a compliment apparently. (Who knew?!)

“Mewing”

I think there’s about 18,956 pictures on my phone of my kid “mewing”. Basically, mewing is a technique in which the tongue is placed on the roof of the mouth to make the jawline look better. Google also said the technique of mewing can improve sleep and reduce mouth breathing. Some even claim that mewing can treat speech disorders, jaw pain, and sinusitis. I don’t know if there’s any actual science to back that up, so take what you will from it. 

“Cap”

The term “cap” refers to a lie, while “no cap” means “no lie” or “for real”. So, the next time your teen asks if you’re serious, respond with “no cap” and see what happens. 

“Skibidi Toilet”

I don’t even think the kids know what this means, they just say it. I think it’s the name of a series on YouTube though. All I know is there’s a “Skibidi Toilet” song out there somewhere and it’s annoyingly catchy and you may find yourself humming it in the shower…

here you have it! Teen speak translated. A year from now, we’ll probably have a whole list of new words we’ll need to learn, but hopefully this helps for now.

If you’ve managed to translate any other words that aren’t on this list – let me know! We need all the help we can get when it comes to raising teenagers!

And on that note… peace out, laters, G2G!

The post Understanding Teen Slang in 2024 appeared first on The Mabelhood.

Value them

I don’t think we have to make our kids feel like they are the most extraordinary creatures that ever existed. Instead, we should have conversations and show that we value them for who they are and what they’re passionate about. But, again, it doesn’t have to be spectacular. They are just humans – as incredible and, at times, less than exciting as being a human can be.

It reminds me of something my Grandma said to all of us. Grandma was supportive and wanted us all to be confident yet humble. One of her regular expressions was “you’re as good as the rest of them and better than none.” It was powerful. We are worthy and smart and special. But so is everyone else.

The best gift you can give

I have a distinct memory of feeling like my dad didn’t give me due credit and praise. I was finishing high school, and we were at my commencement ceremony. My peers had voted me Valedictorian. My speech was greeted with a standing ovation. As I crossed the stage to get my high school diploma, it was announced that I was awarded many things – scholarships, awards, and plaques. I looked out to the crowd and saw my dad’s face. He was beaming and had his little subtle smile. Afterward, my dad was weighed down during the social gathering, carrying all of my awards and achievements. I knew he was proud of me, but he didn’t say it. A couple of days later, I called him on it. I asked why he didn’t tell me I had done well and was proud of me. He said this: “Jules, you know I’m proud of you. But the best gift I can give a kid like you is to keep you humble. That is my goal as the parent of you”. It made sense to me, even as a teenager.

Our society rewards certain achievements. I have benefitted from that. As the parent of several kids who are exceptional in ways that are not always awarded, their achievements are just as meaningful. Remind your kids of that.

How do you tell your kids they are awesome, while keeping them humble?

The post Keeping our Kids Humble appeared first on The Mabelhood.

I have now joined the ranks of the peri-menopausal. It’s not awesome – I live never knowing when my period may or may not turn up. I deal with a constant state of hot flashes triggered by kid hugs and face masks. Most annoying? I seem to be carrying an unexplained 10lbs extra on my body. I have done nothing differently, and yet my jeans don’t fit. Hormones are a bit rude that way. 

Hormones; why ya gotta be like that

The critical thing to remember about hormones is that they can indeed cause us grief at any age. Girls are getting their periods a year younger than in the ’70s and remember that adrenarche begins years before that! The average age is 12 years old. However, precocious puberty is anything under the age of 7 (now there is often an underlying medical reason for this, stemming from the hypothalamus, but it can often catch families off-guard). So, I stress the importance of talking to your kids about their period at a very young age. And make sure to speak with your doctor if your child shows any signs of sexual maturation (breast development, hair, acne) 

Normalize it!

Professionals suggest to start normalizing periods by the age of 4. So, start at 4 and keep the conversation age-appropriate and build upon the details as they get older. This type of open- discussion will normalize and take the shame out of periods. Here are some great tips on how to start the conversation.

I was recently invited to chat about my current state of affairs with my fabulous friend, Jacquie Court, for a collab she did with Alphawomen.

So, aside from normalizing periods it at a young age, there are many other things you can do with your sons and daughters to take the shame out of periods. 

These are the things I suggest:

• DO talk about periods in front of your boy children.
• Take kids to events – there are Period Promise menstrual product drives. Take your children and make a donation.
• Take your children to awareness-raising events, such as the movie “Period. End of Sentence”.
• If there is a Dad in the family, make sure he is on board so that his daughters are comfortable talking to him about their periods.
• Talk about the news! Recently, a wonderful company started offering paid menstrual leave, which takes aim at the stigma of periods in the workplace. As a young woman, I was SO sick on the second day of my period. Why did I have to pretend something else was wrong? Why do we have to pretend to have a migraine headache when we have cramps? 
• I may be a bit cheap in the Christmas stocking department….my kids get underwear, toothbrushes, deodorant, and yes, DIVACUPS! They open that in front of the whole family and express thanks. 

Speaking of underwear- I love this option, and it’s a great idea to use this period-proof underwear during significant events (dance recital, etc.)  Also, be open and honest about why you’re suggesting new underwear. So when it happens, it’s not a shock. You’ve already prepared and normalized it.

I have a few examples that prove my “normalization” of period tactics worked:  

1. My six-year-old son once turned to his 13-year-old female cousin and said, “in case it has not started yet, are you feeling ready for your period, which will likely start soon?”
2. My 15-year-old son said to me this Hallowe’en that I should create my own Superhero costume called “Hot and Flashy.”
3. I once had a daughter inform me that she got her first period. We were at a family farm, and I suggested we go to the farmhouse about 2km away to get a sanitary pad. Her response was, “oh, no worries – I rode the motorcycle back a few hours ago and put a tampon in. I’m all good.”  

All of the changes our bodies go through are completely normal. Let’s start treating them that way. Extra 10lbs and all.

The post Periods- No Shame in That Game appeared first on The Mabelhood.

Because, you know, we’re living in a pandemic and it’s back to work and trying to keep things ‘normal’ and not panic our faces off and do all the things while worrying about our jobs and waiting on the vaccine / worrying it will give us rickets (it won’t, don’t @ me) and not letting our eyes roll right out of our heads when someone says they’re doing ‘dry January’  and constantly answering questions like ‘hey mom, is a hot dog a sandwich?’ or ‘hey mom, would you rather fight a bear-sized duck or a duck-sized bear?’

It’s a lot.

Texting someone a random word instead of adding it to your grocery list is super minor in the grand scheme. And on top of everything else, there’s school. ‘What’s going on with school?’ the grandparents ask every time we chat.

‘Pancakes’, I’ll tell them.

My kids’ schools keeping emailing us surveys regarding our “intentions” with regards to remote and/or classroom learning, as if we have a choice. And I keep filling them out saying YES! ABSOLUTELY YES! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SEND THEM BACK! But then nothing happens until the next survey comes home.

And this got me thinking: imagine if the schools started asking us truly honest questions about how we are managing. Imagine if the school boards started admitting they are as clueless as the rest of us in terms of what the future holds. Wouldn’t that be refreshing?

I imagine those surveys would go something like this:

Dear parents and guardians,

The purpose of the following survey is threefold:

1. To bury you in useless paperwork because we miss doing that and it makes us seem proactive
2. To collect random data we have no intentions of acting on
3. We’re genuinely curious as to how many of you have completely lost the plot

Kind regards,

The institution formerly known as your child’s school (IFKYCS)

1. If in-school learning becomes possible, will your child return to class?

1. Oh f**k yes
2. Oh hell no
3. How quickly can I drop him off? Are you open now?
4. Where is the school again?

2. If you plan to send your child back, what are your reasons?

1. I’ve had enough of his shit
2. He got new clothes for Christmas so….
3. Um, I already have a job
4. Math is hard

3. If you plan to keep your child home, please share your reasons

1. Her legs have atrophied
2. The house isn’t going to clean itself
3. I haven’t emptied her lunchbox since September
4. I’ve given up

4. What subject is your child currently enjoying the most?

1. YouTube
2. Social isolation
3. Toe lint removal
4. Making hamster mazes

5. How would you describe your child’s learning style during the pandemic?

1. Mostly sobbing
2. No pencils, only crayons.
3. If it ain’t on the iPad it ain’t happening
4. Learning?

6. Where does your child prefer to work when she is at home?

1. Hanging upside down off her bed
2. Splayed out on the couch, watching soaps
3. Under the dining room table, in the fetal position, next to me
4. Remote learning?

7. How prepared are you for your child to learn from home for the rest of the school year?

1. I hope you’re joking
2. Yes I’m prepared but his teacher will have to wear a mask when she comes over
3. How much does it cost to move to New Zealand?
4. Just kill me now

8. Which of the following aids would help your child learn at home?

1. Reliable high-speed internet
2. A crayon sharpener
3. Anyone but me
4. We are beyond help

9. Which of the following aids would help you support your child’s learning?

1. Alcohol and/or cannabis
2. A panic room
3. Toilet Paper
4. Essential Oils

10. Who is your primary source of emotional support during these trying times?

1. Amazon
2. My pajamas
3. Simon from Bridgerton
4. Siri

11. How often do you feel completely overwhelmed?

1. Hourly
2. Daily
3. Only between midnight and 11:59 pm
4. Since approximately 2007

12. What, if any, non-academic interests is your child currently pursuing?

1. Among Us
2. Extra-loud YouTube videos
3. Roblox
4. Annoying the ever-loving crap out of me

13. What is the most serious challenge facing your family over the next several months?

1. Coronavirus
2. Climate change
3. World Peace
4. Bathing

14. What are your goals for the upcoming semester?

1. Not to get fired from my real job
2. Not to kill anyone
3. Transition teaching duties to Big Bird
4. Remember the passwords to all forty-seven of my kids’ online learning portals

15. What has been the most rewarding part of supporting your child’s learning?

1. Day drinking
2. Spending more time with the dog
3. Rewarding? Hahahahahahahaha
4. Pancakes

The post The Real School Survey Every Parent Should Be Filling Out Right Now appeared first on The Mabelhood.

When you are told your baby has a rare chromosome abnormality, and that the odds are about 1/million, you learn to never assume those odds can’t happen to you.

Receiving a rare diagnosis

Nine months after my baby was born we were told she has Uniparental Disomy. This is, in a nutshell, when a person inherits 2 chromosomes from one parent, and none from the other. Rather than one of each. The clinical results can differ greatly depending on the chromosome affected. We had received prenatal genetic testing when I was pregnant and were told that it looked good, we moved forward thinking that the odds of our baby having down syndrome (which was the only genetic disorder that I knew of) were so slim that we had nothing further to think about in regard to genetics. Little did we know; genetic testing doesn’t pick up every chromosome abnormality and that we would be one of those families who receives a rare diagnosis.

Often the diagnosis can be so rare, in our case there are only approximately 200 cases worldwide, so rare that it in the medical world, it’s insignificant. Nobody is rushing in with funding or support. So rare, that they don’t study it. I was expressing to one of our doctors how I was feeling desperate to speak to an expert on my daughter’s diagnosis. The doctor laughed and told me I was the expert. It was true, I knew more about my daughter than any doctor, but that scary reality felt like having the wind knocked out of me. The responsibility felt isolating.

Understanding and coming to terms with a rare diagnosis 

It was a long process of understanding and re-learning about our baby.  It answered a lot of questions, why what I was reading in the books didn’t relate to us and while milestones weren’t being met. But with every answer came more questions. I turned to the internet and found just a handful of medical journals written in jargon I didn’t understand. It didn’t give me what I needed, which was to hear that everything will be ok.  I felt isolated and lost.

I was grieving, and I felt guilt for feeling grief.  I had a beautiful baby in my arms, how dare I feel grief.
I had never told anyone I felt as though I was grieving. It wasn’t until one day while standing in our pediatrician’s office she turned to me and told me “it’s okay to mourn”.  She must have seen it in my blurry eyes. It was normal to mourn the childhood that I expected for my daughter. Hearing that felt liberating. I felt a weight lifted, my feelings were normal and I wasn’t a horrible mother for having preconceived ideas of who my little girl would be, and being disappointed knowing it may not come true. It was a process of loss, and acceptance.

I want to know what to expect, what our future looks like, what challenges our family will face but I have very few answers. I often feel overwhelmed with the amount of appointments, therapies, and uncertainties. I don’t know when my little girl will walk, I don’t know when I will hear her say “mama”.  It can be a very dark and lonely place.

Slowly, I have seen exciting progress in my daughter, she has reached some milestones that blew me away. She has started daycare and has friends, she loves to give hugs and kisses. Seeing her unique milestones taught me to adjust my expectations. I have redefined success. I am happy, optimistic and excited about her future.

I did not reach this positive place on my own, my daughter brought me to this place. Every day, I watch her plough through life without a care in the world, smiling, happy and laughing at everything.  Watching her resiliency and adaptability shows me that everything is ok.  This is her world and she is going to thrive in it.

I love my daughter more than I ever thought possible to love anyone. She has a way of melting the hearts of everyone she meets. She laughs, and finds nothing but joy in life, her smile and happiness is infectious.

I think about the odds, 1 in a million and it happened to me. I still don’t play the lottery because now it feels like I’ve already won the jackpot. Love doesn’t count chromosomes, and I don’t count the odds.

We are the lucky ones, because everyday families are facing greater challenges, and experiencing real heartbreaking loss.  Rare disorders bring incredible isolation and fear to many families. June 17 to 23rd is Rare Chromosome Disorder Awareness Week.  To find out more about rare chromosome disorders, please visit www.rarechromo.org.

The post I Found Out My Baby Has an Extremely Rare Genetic Disorder appeared first on The Mabelhood.