Why do kids struggle with the after-school transition?  

Kids often struggle with the after-school transition because it can be a big shift from the structured school environment to the more relaxed (or chaotic) atmosphere at home. The sudden change can be overwhelming after a day full of lessons, rules, and social interactions – the sudden ability to let it all go, and they release all the emotions they’ve been building up and holding onto all day.

They might feel tired, hungry, or need a break, which can make it hard to switch gears or even understand what exactly it is that they are feeling.

Plus, the sudden lack of routine or clear expectations after school can leave them feeling lost or unmotivated, unsure of what to do with themselves, and their big feelings, adding to the challenge of making a smooth transition.

Create a Consistent After-School Routine:

Establishing a predictable routine after school provides a sense of security and helps kids transition more smoothly from the school environment to home. Consistency is key here! 

Try these steps:

• Snack Time: Offer a healthy snack to replenish their energy. Fresh fruit, yogurt, or whole-grain crackers are excellent options – and can squash those hangry feelings!
• Quiet Time: Designate a quiet period where kids can unwind. This might be time for reading, drawing, or even a little screen time.
• Homework Time: Set a specific time for homework, preferably after a short break. Once they’ve relaxed and had a bite to eat, it’s easier to shift hears and re focus.

Encourage Physical Activity After-School:

Exercise is an excellent way for kids to release pent-up energy and reduce stress. Physical activity after school can help them feel more relaxed and ready for the evening 

Incorporate these activities:

• Outdoor Play: A game of tag, a bike ride, or a walk in the park can be invigorating.
• Sports: If they’re involved in sports, practice or a casual game can be beneficial.
• Rough-housing: Some kids like to rough house with siblings, and that’s fine too!
• Dance Party: Turn on their favorite music and have a mini dance party to get their energy out in a fun way.Jump Battle: Kids love a jump battle; it’s even better if you have a trampoline!

Set Up a Calm Environment

The atmosphere in your home can greatly impact how easily your kids wind down. Creating a calming environment helps them transition from the busyness of school to a more relaxed state.

Consider these tips:

• Quiet Spaces: Designate a quiet area in your home where they can retreat to if they need a break from stimulation.
• Don’t bombard them with questions: Kids often don’t want to talk about their day, and that’s ok. Give them some time, then try these tips to get them to open up about their day.
• Soothing Sounds: Soft background music or nature sounds can create a serene atmosphere.
• Comfortable Setting: Ensure that their space is relaxed and free from clutter. A cozy area with pillows and blankets can be an inviting spot for them to veg out.

Implement Relaxation Techniques for Kids:

Teaching kids relaxation techniques can help them manage stress and improve their overall well-being. Simple practices can be easily incorporated into their after-school routine, and these can be lifelong tips and tricks they’ll rely on to relax even as adults. This is particularly helpful to kids who get anxious.

Try these relaxation techniques to help them wind down after school:

• Deep Breathing: Teach them to take slow, deep breaths to calm their mind and body.
• Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Guide them through tensing and relaxing different muscle groups. You can find kids-friendly videos to walk them through this on YouTube.
• Yoga Exercises: Encourage them both focus, breath, and move their body! There are lots of great yoga videos for Kids, like this one where you can find a theme your kids loves!

Foster Creative Outlets as a Way for Kids to Wind Down After School:

Engaging in creative activities can be a great way for kids to express their feelings and unwind after a busy day. It also helps them develop their imagination and problem-solving skills, plus, is just a great way to relax!

Creative after-school ideas include:

• Drawing and Coloring: Provide them with art supplies and most importantly, let them create freely!
• Craft Projects: Simple crafts can be therapeutic, like making friendship bracelets or decorating picture frames.
• Writing: Encourage them to keep a journal or write stories to express their thoughts and emotions. This may be tough and too hard for younger kids, so if this isn’t right for your kiddo, no worries don’t push it on them!

Share Quality Time:

Spending quality time together can help your kids feel valued and supported. It also allows them to relax and enjoy the company of family members. Family Meals and use this time to discuss their day and connect. Read a book to them, or play a boardgame.

Address Their Emotional Needs:

Finally, acknowledge and address any emotional or psychological needs your kids may have. The transition from school to home can sometimes be challenging, and offering support is essential. Validate Their Feelings and let them know that it’s okay to feel tired, stressed, or overwhelmed. Offer Reassurance provide comfort especially if they had a tough day at school.

Helping your kids wind down after school is all about creating a balanced routine that promotes relaxation and supports their well-being.  Plus, it makes it much easier for the whole family to have a relaxing evening and sets them up for another successful day tomorrow!

Remember, every child is different, so finding what works best for your family might take some time. With patience and consistency, you’ll create a peaceful environment that helps your kids thrive.

The post How to Help Your Kids Wind Down After School: Tips for a Relaxed After-School Routine appeared first on The Mabelhood.

This is normal. It’s manageable, and it’s very, very common. After School restraint Collapse, a term coined only a few years ago. It suddenly resonated with families in a big way.  


What is After School Restraint Collapse?


Let’s take a step back, these days, school is different, and many children, especially our younger ones, have a challenging time managing a school day when all they want to do is play. This is amplified in children with special needs. 

With large classroom sizes, many kids are confined to a desk all day. It is very unnatural; kids are meant to move their bodies, explore and learn through play. Yet, as much as we hear how well they’re coping in the classroom, the media often talks about how resilient our kids are for working through these challenging times; we often don’t hear about what happens after class.

You pick your child up from school, and the teacher mentions what a great day they had! Yet, the moment they get in the car or step through the door, they’re miserable or unable to hold it together. You start to wonder why they have a split personality. This is After School Restraint Collapse.

Why do after school meltdowns happen?   

You kid has spent all day sitting at a desk, possibly wearing a mask, minding their manners, managing complex relationships, listening carefully. They have been working and thinking hard and primarily restraining their natural kid impulses to yell, jump, spin in circles, and all the other lovely and weird things kids do. It is mentally, physically, and emotionally difficult for kids- even on the best of days. 

 Holding in tough emotions is hard for anyone, especially kids. By the time they get home, they just simply can’t hold it together anymore. They arrive home into their safe space, where love is unconditional. And they let it all go. The entire days’ worth of stress, emotions, and holding it together comes bursting out. It looks like anger, tears, defiance, and possibly a full-blown meltdown of kicking and screaming. It can happen right into adolescence, although it may appear less of a breakdown and more of quiet, mumbling, and grumpy.  

 The mental load of kids at school during a pandemic is hard.  

 The upside, if you’re experiencing ASRC, is that you’ve created a beautiful relationship with your child where they feel comfortable and safe enough where they know you’ll be their soft landing for them. 

Tips on how best to deal with after school restraint collapse

There may be no way to avoid it entirely, but you may find that as they get more comfortable with the daily school routine, the people in their class, and the work they must do, these breakdowns may start to decrease. We can never take all the stress away from our kids, but we can find ways to make our home an environment that works for them.   

 1) Don’t label the collapse 

It’s just a part of being a kid, validate the feelings they’re having. It’s okay for them to be tired, angry, grumpy, and any other emotion they’re experiencing. Totally normal. Don’t label it or judge. Just let them experience it and help them work through it. 

2) Be prepared with food. 

They are likely hungry after school, and it’s best to be prepared for this right away. They’ve made many decisions during the day and are probably experiencing some decision fatigue, so asking “what do you want to eat” could be a tipping point. Just have a healthy snack they enjoy ready to go. 

 4) Do not grill them about their day 

Nobody wants to be bombarded with questions to the moment they’re trying to relax. Give them some space, welcome them home with a hug and a smile and allow them to settle, but don’t ask a million questions. They won’t want to answer, and you’re asking may provoke them. Give them some time, and at dinner or later in the evening, ask if they want to talk about their day. Give them a choice about whether they’re like to share or not.  

 Once they’re ready to talk, if you have a teen who will just answer a mumbled yes or not, try and keep the questions open-ended where they can’t give a quick yes/no or fine, 

•  “who did you hang out with today?”  
•  “What did you do at recess?” 
•  …or something that shows you listened, “Did Max fall asleep again in class?” 

 And make sure to do active listening, repeat back what you’ve heard naturally, “he did fall asleep! haha” or “Wow, you and Pete really like tag at recess, that’s great.”   

 5) Follow their lead 

Some kids may need to be physical, so play wrestling with siblings or going on a bike ride might be precisely what they need to decompress. Others may need rest. So, a bit of TV time, some quiet table toys, or listening to music will help them unwind. A weighted blanket may help some kids feel more relaxed. Take their lead on what may work for them.   

 6) Flip it. 

Let them be upside down, literally. Yoga is a great wind-down activity for any anxious or stressed kid, especially the downward dog pose, because often, being upside down can make you feel better. In addition, being upside-down helps circulate blood throughout the body and trigger the vestibular system. So if your kid likes to hang upside down off the couch- let them! Kids have an uncanny way of naturally knowing what’s best for their bodies and self-regulating.   

The best thing you can do is maintain a calm and understanding attitude, especially during these first few weeks and months back in school. If parents can be prepared, offer stability and empathy, we’ll get through this. Cut the kids some slack if some unwanted behaviors arise. They have, after all, had a challenging, unstable few years, and we must allow them time to adjust.

Above all else, cut yourself some slack too. Remember that restraint collapse is a sign that you’ve created a loving and safe environment, so pat yourself on the back for that  

[If your child is experiencing unmanageable behaviors for a prolonged period, it would be worth contacting your healthcare provider for further assistance] 

For tips on how to get your kiddo’s to talk about their day- click here!

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