Here are a few things I learned from covid:

No point in pointing fingers:

When the first kid in our family tested positive, the siblings turned into detectives in hopes of discovering who the original source was. Their witch-hunt came up empty, and no one could be burned at the stake for being “Patient Zero”. Our family followed all the protocols and did nothing wrong.  I understand wanting to know the source to mitigate spread, but if it’s motivated by wanting to place blame, don’t waste your time.

Kids have spent two years being trained to be scared:

It’s no wonder that when a family member tests positive, kiddo hysteria sets in. Children have missed school, activities and taken many measures to avoid being infected. So, it should have been no surprise that I heard things like “I don’t want my family to die!” and “I don’t want us to all end up in hospital!” On top of hysteria, you also get the hypochondria. Every sneeze becomes a Covid symptom. You know how when one of your kids has head lice and your scalp suddenly becomes itchy? Yes, apply that theory to Covid symptoms.

Try your best to keep it one step at a time. We can’t promise our kids things we can’t guarantee, but we can manage their fears by keeping in the moment and not over-thinking about the “what-ifs”

How do parents “isolate” from sick kids?

This may not be popular, but when your kids are sick, how is it even possible to not cuddle and comfort them? I’m not sure how realistic that mandate is. I’m more willing to get sick myself, than leave my kids alone when feeling unwell. This could explain why I’ve been puked on so many times.

What’s the right thing to do? Bring back the “Chicken Pox Party”?

Some of my kids were away when Covid hit the homefront. I was tempted to have them return home and just throw it back to the classic 1970s Chicken Pox Party. That was me waving the white flag and admitting defeat – and it made sense for my big family. BUT, with one teen anxiously counting down the days for her driving test appointment, she was not risking having to cancel. As such, we did the daunting task of separating the siblings.  

The biggest win for families beyond recovering from this nasty bug, is surviving isolation without killing each other. Stay safe out there!

The post Four Lessons I Learned When Covid Turned Up appeared first on The Mabelhood.

Because, you know, we’re living in a pandemic and it’s back to work and trying to keep things ‘normal’ and not panic our faces off and do all the things while worrying about our jobs and waiting on the vaccine / worrying it will give us rickets (it won’t, don’t @ me) and not letting our eyes roll right out of our heads when someone says they’re doing ‘dry January’  and constantly answering questions like ‘hey mom, is a hot dog a sandwich?’ or ‘hey mom, would you rather fight a bear-sized duck or a duck-sized bear?’

It’s a lot.

Texting someone a random word instead of adding it to your grocery list is super minor in the grand scheme. And on top of everything else, there’s school. ‘What’s going on with school?’ the grandparents ask every time we chat.

‘Pancakes’, I’ll tell them.

My kids’ schools keeping emailing us surveys regarding our “intentions” with regards to remote and/or classroom learning, as if we have a choice. And I keep filling them out saying YES! ABSOLUTELY YES! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SEND THEM BACK! But then nothing happens until the next survey comes home.

And this got me thinking: imagine if the schools started asking us truly honest questions about how we are managing. Imagine if the school boards started admitting they are as clueless as the rest of us in terms of what the future holds. Wouldn’t that be refreshing?

I imagine those surveys would go something like this:

Dear parents and guardians,

The purpose of the following survey is threefold:

1. To bury you in useless paperwork because we miss doing that and it makes us seem proactive
2. To collect random data we have no intentions of acting on
3. We’re genuinely curious as to how many of you have completely lost the plot

Kind regards,

The institution formerly known as your child’s school (IFKYCS)

1. If in-school learning becomes possible, will your child return to class?

1. Oh f**k yes
2. Oh hell no
3. How quickly can I drop him off? Are you open now?
4. Where is the school again?

2. If you plan to send your child back, what are your reasons?

1. I’ve had enough of his shit
2. He got new clothes for Christmas so….
3. Um, I already have a job
4. Math is hard

3. If you plan to keep your child home, please share your reasons

1. Her legs have atrophied
2. The house isn’t going to clean itself
3. I haven’t emptied her lunchbox since September
4. I’ve given up

4. What subject is your child currently enjoying the most?

1. YouTube
2. Social isolation
3. Toe lint removal
4. Making hamster mazes

5. How would you describe your child’s learning style during the pandemic?

1. Mostly sobbing
2. No pencils, only crayons.
3. If it ain’t on the iPad it ain’t happening
4. Learning?

6. Where does your child prefer to work when she is at home?

1. Hanging upside down off her bed
2. Splayed out on the couch, watching soaps
3. Under the dining room table, in the fetal position, next to me
4. Remote learning?

7. How prepared are you for your child to learn from home for the rest of the school year?

1. I hope you’re joking
2. Yes I’m prepared but his teacher will have to wear a mask when she comes over
3. How much does it cost to move to New Zealand?
4. Just kill me now

8. Which of the following aids would help your child learn at home?

1. Reliable high-speed internet
2. A crayon sharpener
3. Anyone but me
4. We are beyond help

9. Which of the following aids would help you support your child’s learning?

1. Alcohol and/or cannabis
2. A panic room
3. Toilet Paper
4. Essential Oils

10. Who is your primary source of emotional support during these trying times?

1. Amazon
2. My pajamas
3. Simon from Bridgerton
4. Siri

11. How often do you feel completely overwhelmed?

1. Hourly
2. Daily
3. Only between midnight and 11:59 pm
4. Since approximately 2007

12. What, if any, non-academic interests is your child currently pursuing?

1. Among Us
2. Extra-loud YouTube videos
3. Roblox
4. Annoying the ever-loving crap out of me

13. What is the most serious challenge facing your family over the next several months?

1. Coronavirus
2. Climate change
3. World Peace
4. Bathing

14. What are your goals for the upcoming semester?

1. Not to get fired from my real job
2. Not to kill anyone
3. Transition teaching duties to Big Bird
4. Remember the passwords to all forty-seven of my kids’ online learning portals

15. What has been the most rewarding part of supporting your child’s learning?

1. Day drinking
2. Spending more time with the dog
3. Rewarding? Hahahahahahahaha
4. Pancakes

The post The Real School Survey Every Parent Should Be Filling Out Right Now appeared first on The Mabelhood.