This is the first year that I have considered Elf on the Shelf. My daughter is now at an age where she’ll hear stories from classmates about the shenanigans their Elves are getting into. As an Elf newbie, I am considering whether I want to bring this relatively new tradition to my family. I just don’t know if I’m one of those families—an Elf family. 

This time of year, my sanity hangs like a heavy Christmas ornament on a floppy tree branch. The season is labor-intensive and stressful, and busy. You’re probably thinking I’m the Grinch. Maybe, just maybe, I’m a busy mom who isn’t sure I can manage Elf on the Shelf. Even though I want to, I just don’t know whether I can take on another daily task that involves creativity, props, and another item on the to-do list. To Elf or not to Elf, that is the question.

So I did what any over-thinking mom would do, I made a pros and cons list.

Elf on the Shelf pros and cons list:

• Pro -It brings joy into the household:  I want to bring that magic and fun into my house during the Christmas season. I want to see the joy on my daughter’s face when she sees the Elf mischief each morning.
• Pro- It’s a parenting right-of-passage: One of the benefits of social media is that we get an opportunity to share good memories, and Elf On The Shelf is one of those things. We see our feeds filling up daily with Elf high-jinks, funny stories of how moms almost forget to move him, and Elf tips & tricks. Elf-moms have other Elf-moms backs when it comes to needing advice.
• Pro- It’s creative:  Some moms get very creative, and that can be wonderful. There are 24 days of shenanigans for an Elf to get into!
• Pro- It keeps the kids inline:  A simple way to ensure the kids stay on their best behavior all month long, the Elf is watching. 

The downside of Elf on the shelf:

• Con- It’s controversial:  I’ve read a lot about the psychological effect of Elf on the shelf; it turns out it’s hugely controversial. Many moms struggle with the idea that an Elf is watching over their kids, and the motivation for good behavior all month long is based on a make-believe Elf. That’s a fair argument, but it still isn’t the basis of my hesitation (I’m not above bribery).
• Con- Does it still bring joy if I feel burdened? The magic over the Holidays only works if we can do it with enthusiasm. If we genuinely feel the joy, not the stress of it. 
• Con-Once you start, you can never go back: What if I forget to move it? What if I make a rookie mistake?  Sure, Pinterest is full of ideas and ways to get yourself out of an effing error, pardon me; an elfing error. But that alone takes effort- writing elf letters, broken legs. Do I want to make an Elf leg cast? (no, I don’t). Do I want to manipulate my handwriting to impersonate an Elf’s (nope) Do I want to create complex plot lines to keep the story going all month? (again, it’s a no)
• Con- It’s creative: There are 24 days of shenanigans for an Elf to get into. That’s a commitment.
• Con- It feels like a competition:  Sometimes it can feel as though posting daily Elf naughtiness is just a way to try and outdo one another. It couldn’t be a competition of Elf shenanigans, could it? (It could)

There you have it.

My self-care comes first. To be a good parent, a happy and enthusiastic parent, I need to set boundaries. I need to ensure that I don’t take on too much and burn out or feel resentful, which can quickly happen at this time of year. So, I asked myself one crucial question:

Does my child’s happiness over the Christmas season depend on how creative I get with an Elf? 

It absolutely does not. Children find magic in the simplest of things. Having a parent who doesn’t feel too stretched to enjoy those simple things with them. Carefully weigh your mental health vs. Elf on The Shelf.

We will get an Elf that will visit on weekends only. Friday and Saturday nights, the Elf will return from helping Santa and visit. The weekends when I’m more relaxed, and perhaps have enjoyed a glass of wine and am feeling a tad more creative. I can manage that.  It’s yet to be determined whether I’ll share any high-jinks on the ‘gram. If I do and you see my post know this- it’s not an Elfing competition, so manage your self-care before your elf-care.   

Post updated for 2023. 

The post The Pros and Cons of Elf on the Shelf; How I’m Choosing Self-Care Before Elf-Care appeared first on The Mabelhood.

My kids are older and mostly non-believers now, though some will never admit it. Having gone through it six times with each of my children, I’ve learned a few things over the years about dealing with the sadness over Santa Claus.

How to handle the Santa talk – each child is different!

Depending on your kid, the timing of what and when they start questioning Santa can differ greatly. Some don’t question Santa for a very long time, I had that child. He’s on the autism spectrum and takes things literally. To his mind – mom says there’s a Santa, there IS a Santa. He got to the age where his peers no longer believed, and I was horrified at the thought of him trying to convince them otherwise at recess. So, I sat him down and told him the truth. His response was “what else are you lying to me about?” Ouch, it hurt, but it was a fair question.

How to respond when your child questions Santa

When your child starts to question the existence of Santa, it’s essential to approach the situation with care and empathy. Firstly, it’s important to listen to your child’s doubts and concerns without judgment or ridicule. Ultimately, it’s up to you as a parent to decide how to handle the situation, it may depend on their age, social situation, etc. As a parent, you know best. The key is to approach it with sensitivity and understanding.

Find the right time to talk to your child about Santa

The timing of talking about the existence of Santa is paramount for some kids. Timing is so important with this, and if you must ruin Christmas for a child, as I did – do it off-season! I highly suggest making it a June conversation and not a December one. That way, by the time Christmas rolls around, your child will have had enough time to digest and process the news so it won’t completely ruin their holiday season.

Make your kid an ally – so when they no longer believe in Santa they still believe in the Christmas Spirit!

Because I have so many kids, I didn’t want the biggie kids exposing an early truth to the little ones and I wanted to find a way for them to still be in on the fun. I found the best way to prevent that from happening was to turn my kid into an ally. By giving the big kids some Santa responsibilities, I made them feel like they were a part of the Christmas magic. I put them in charge of the Elf on the Shelf (which was perfect because I ALWAYS forget to move the guy, anyways), I had them wrap presents, help shop, stuff stockings, and basically take on the role of Santa’s “hype man”.

Look on the bright side

Watching our kids grow up more every Christmas is fun and heartbreaking all at once. We eventually shift from telling them they can’t wake us up before 7 AM on Christmas morning, to forcing them out of bed at 11 AM. Things change so much, but ultimately each age is a gift that’s better than any Christmas present. Enjoy the magic while it’s there, but try and enjoy the non-believing years, too! They’re special for their own reasons.

Admittedly, I find Christmas pretty easy now that I don’t have a bunch of believers. I don’t have to use different wrapping paper for “Santa” gifts and “parent” gifts and besides, trying to change my handwriting on gift labels was never my strong suit. Ultimately, the realization of the Santa myth is the time when kids really get to learn that Christmas is about more than presents. This new phase is the door opening for different kinds of traditions and valuable lessons, and that in itself is a beautiful thing.

For more, read My Kids Still Believe in Santa

The post What To Do When Your Kids Stop Believing in Santa appeared first on The Mabelhood.

TIME 

Time is precious, and moms don’t have enough of it. So how can you give her time? There are several ways:

1. A meal service. Take a task away from her or make it easier. I recently had a HelloFresh box arrive at my house and I couldn’t have been happier. All the ingredients and easy to follow recipes made for a meal that my entire family loved. If you have not considered this service, now’s the time. This busy mama’s quality of life increased significantly once I discovered HelloFresh
2. A cleaning service. Although keeping the house clean should be a family affair, the stress of it often lands on mom. Buying a family gift of having a cleaning service during and/or after the holiday season will take the stress out of entertaining and give the entire family more time to spend together.
3. Babysitting coupon. Moms want to get out, often with their spouses. Offer a busy mom friend in your life an evening of babysitting so she can remember what it’s like to go on a date again.

ADVENTURE

Sometimes being a mom can be a little, let’s say, monotonous. Give mom that rush of excitement that comes with adventure. You might want to consider these gifts mom really wants:

1. A gift certificate for travel. Does Mom have a group of girlfriends she’d love to have a weekend away with? Help make that happen. She needs the break and finding adventure with her gal pals will be good for her soul.
2. A bucket-list activity. How about an activity you’ve heard her say “I wish” about? Maybe it is taking a dance class, going skydiving or learning to play hockey. Every mom has something she’d like to try.

PLEASURE

1. Wine subscription. Is the mom in your life a lover of wine? Silly question – of course she is! ED Wine is a monthly wine subscription of four sommelier curated wines. Each wine comes with a write-up about it to help you learn and explore your tastes. No pretension, just the enjoyment of the simple pleasure wine offers. Search your area for a similar service.
2. Spa gift certificate. Does mom love a day at the spa or going for a massage? Gift certificates are easy to get and much appreciated for moms who need to wind down after a busy holiday season.
3. Retail gift certificate. Does mom have a hard time spending money on the things she loves? If mom has a favorite clothing or jewelry shop, treat her to a gift certificate so she can spoil herself instead of the children for once. I know whenever a gift certificate for my favourite store turns up (Joelle’s), I’m one happy mama!

If you’re more into getting her a traditional gift that can be wrapped and placed under the tree, I suggest going for a secret wish-list item. Sometimes a mama just has a random thing she wants, but probably wouldn’t ask for. Figure out what that is and surprise her. This year, I’d love to find a pair of Mukluks under the tree for me. If that happens, it will truly be a Christmas miracle!

Show Mom that she is not forgotten this holiday season by giving her meaningful gifts that will always be remembered: The gifts of time, adventure and pleasure!  Here are some other important ways you can help out moms this Holiday season.

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